Musings of a Parkinson’s Night Owl: By Maria De Leon

Leave a comment Standard

“Every Renaissance comes to the world with a cry, the cry of the human spirit to be free…” Anne Sullivan Macy

 

The other day as I stayed up half the night like most of us with PD tend to do, I was too tired to read, or write and too restless to lie quietly in the dark. I decided to make my way to the Living room and surf the T.V. channels. After a few minutes, I stopped as I recognized an old movie which I had not seen since medical school “Lorenzo’s oil.” A movie starring Susan Sarandon (for which she won an Oscar) and nick molten about a child who develops a neurological illness known as adrenoluekodyatrophy. This Terrible condition occurs only in boys because is x-linked causing behavioral problems, blindness, deafness and eventually death. As I began to watch a wave of emotions took over me realizing how long it had been since I first saw this movie trying to remember my first impressions and how different they probably were from now having had the opportunity to treat many similar patients. Recalling my last little boy whom I diagnosed and the sadness and hopelessness i felt as I saw him drift into darkness and eventually succumb to death. Remembering the pain, anguish, and despair her mom felt upon confirming the diagnosis, never once remembering that movie.

Now as a seasoned neurologists, mother, and patient I found myself being completely enraged at that mother’s behavior. Wondering what I would have counseled if I were the attending physician on that particular case and weighing my options as a mom and patient. Surprisingly my decisions would have all led to the same path – let the boy die with dignity since he suffered for at least 3 years as he descended deeper into a coma only to slowly come out after years of seizures and suffering regaining some hearing and vision but remaining quadriplegic and bed bound for life. I wonder what he would have said about his life. The lack of choice in the matter. In the end, I wonder if he would have said it was a meaningful life. of course the fact that he survived such ordeal when he was aspirating and suffering asphyxiation continuously for years speaks volumes to the strength and power of the human spirit and to the  fact that life is not in our hands but that of our God.

The parents life revolved around the illness of their son from the moment of his diagnosis- the first rule of living with a chronically ill patient is not to make the disease the center of life. This is giving power and admitting it is stronger than us.  How often we as caregivers make life decisions based on denial or guilt? Sometimes we have to learn to let go and not stop living ourselves. We as caregivers are just as important as the patient. This does not mean we abandon our responsibilities or wash our hands of it rather we must find a way to maintain our own health, goals, dreams in spite of another’s need for our complete attention. We don’t refuse help from others or alienate ourselves from the world as this mom did. Important not to neglect relationships like marriage. Other children, siblings and friends as this couple did.

I am afraid too often we think we are invincible or too proud to let others lend a hand.

Plus, in dealing with any chronic illness we have to avail ourselves of an entire medical team especially if we want to change the science. As I have written before respect is essential for a good patient- physician relationship. Both parties are equally important to advancing knowledge and science of any disease. Anytime one party thinks they can work alone will only truncate progress. This is what unfortunately happened. Although the parents discovery of “Lorenzo’s Oil” was a major breakthrough because it did not go through proper channels of being tested within the confines of medical science, the treatment has mostly fallen into oblivion and rarely discussed in any medical settings due to the controversy and animosity it created among parents of patients with similar disease that were desperate for cure as we are now with PD an the neurological community who was painted as insensitive and uncaring to the needs of their patients.

Remember the saying never bite the hand that feeds you…doctors and neuroscientist have the scientific knowledge and experience of a thousand patients we only have one – ourselves or our loved ones. However, by working together we can fill in the gaps. So let’s not hastily take non- recommended treatments without discussing with our physician’s because if truly beneficial if done outside the confines of scientific methodology few people will reap the benefit as has been the case of the treatment with this oil which according to small studies if used early on in this disease can halt its progression.

This year let’s make waves by working together for a cure!

copyright-2017

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

New Year Resolutions! By Maria De Leon

Leave a comment Standard

First, let me take a moment to wish everyone a very happy and prosperous new year! I am sure that many of you as is customary made a list of New Year’s Resolutions which you wholeheartedly intended to keep. But, by now many of you like me find the resolve to keep those well –intended plans slowly begin to dwindle away as the month unfolds. Perhaps, some of you, like me, feel no need to go through the charade of making any determinations.

However, this year I would like to challenge you to develop a more proactive attitude towards achieving our goals in an effort to live a happier and fuller life no matter where we find ourselves.

Think of these as a new adventure which is going to enhance your life not cause stress or mental anguish.

Here are some examples of common resolutions people make:

I want to eat healthy and lose weight. We join exercise classes and begin to avoid all the stuff which has sugar, butter, and tastes good and replace with more incipient foods. Well, no wonder we abandon this in an instant when someone offers us a piece of moist chocolate cake, as my grandmother used to make every year around this time for my grandfather’s birthday.

Instead, let’s look at food not as our enemy but a way to connect to people, explore tastes, and discover new things. Is not what we eat but rather the quantity, I always say. Everything in moderation. Don’t eat half the cake, just a sliver or small slice. Trust me your taste buds will thank you, and don’t leave the butter out when cooking. Your brain needs fats in order to thrive. A recent, study published in magazine Neurology Today stated that people with a bit more meat in their bones later in life could potentially benefit more by protecting their brain’s against dementia. That does not mean you eat the whole tub of butter and let your diabetes get out of control but does not mean you don’t have to deprive yourself from rich foods. Eating fatty fish high in omega 3- fatty acids like salmon, sardines, and trout can be beneficial to the brain and help with memory. One of my favorite dishes and easy to prepare is salmon with mint in the oven served over rice. 

I want to stay fit or get in shape. It’s a lot easier to exercise routinely when you have a friend to do it with or better yet get a pet like a dog which you have to walk and you will exercise without trying to. Pets are not for you? How about ballroom dancing? I bet you will be the life of the party if you display some of your moves. Exercise also has been proven to prevent or at least truncate development of dementia with as little as 30 minutes a day of walking three times a week especially in women. The best way to maintain an exercise routine is finding something you love.

Another common resolution, I want to travel. Well, sometimes our health and/or our financial circumstances are not what we like making this dream a bit hard to achieve leaving us disheartened. Well, now you can have some of the advantages of traveling without leaving home. Invest in some virtual reality glasses (you can buy some at amazon for under $20) and feel like your there. Better yet, invite friends over and cook some foods indigenous to those areas that you like to visit. Better yet, if out are like me and don’t like to cook much then find a place to cater or do put luck and while you dine listen to the music of the region and even learn a few phrases. There are several little packages called “Music and Cuisine for Dinner with a Theme” which I have enjoyed using. These inexpensive treats which can be purchased on line or at Hallmark stores come with a authentic music cd of the region like Italy (several countries to choose from). They come with tips for throwing, in this case Italian – inspired soiree along with 20 plus recipes from appetizers to desserts for a whole meal experience which are easy to prepare. The experience will be just as memorable, I guarantee. Plus, you will also be learning something new another common resolution.

Self-improvement also makes top of list for New Year’s resolutions easily broken. If you concentrate on helping others and being kind to others, you will grow infinitely as a human being.

These basic changes in attitude and perspective are sure to be a hit with anyone who dares to be bold. Don’t forget to always smile and be thankful for the little things.

copyright-2017

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Women’s Health & Sexuality: By Maria De Leon

Leave a comment Standard

“It’s not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean…”

(Image by Ross Webb)

There I was, in the middle of a crowed classroom, addressing students and faculty alike about human sexuality  and talking about “orgasms” and “premature ejaculation,” with not as much as a wave of discomfort when it suddenly dawn on me – I had somehow morphed into Dr. Ruth (Westheimer)- iconic sexologist of the 80’s. I chuckled inside a bit as I continued lecturing. If someone one had told me that a shy, introverted young girl with “rose-colored” eye balls  and little world experience would become this carefree, self-confident, mature woman expounding on the issues of sexuality, I would have died laughing in utter disbelief.

Nevertheless, with age along with living with a chronic illness has given me a new found freedom one and  voice to help women of all ages deal with chronic illnesses particularly those with chronic neurological diseases such as PD. Having treated many women over the years as well as living with PD myself, over the last ten years, has made me realize the need for awareness and much needed dialogue in this vital aspect of  every woman’s life. because sadly until only a few decades ago, there was a misconception regarding women’s sexuality which  was promoted by men, I am sure ( some sort of ploy to keep women under control),  that women have a decrease libido compared to men. This of course is entirely false, although as in men there are some women who have greater sex drive than others.

Yet, despite the fact that when chronic illness strikes sex and intimacy are unwittingly place in the back burner for many of us, sexual expression and sexuality is still at the top of our lists. this is one of the factors we deem important when we think of quality of life. However,  it seems to me that for centuries women have gotten the short end of the deal in this department thus going on for years suffering both physically and emotionally from lack of  appropriate care.

Here are some tips to become a SEX Goddess again ( at least in our own minds!)Rita Hayworth 1941:

First, it is important to recognize that both men and women suffer from sexual problems when it comes to chronic disease like Parkinson’s. Although, some of the issues are inherently different we share many things in common such as fatigue, depression, hormonal changes, lack of energy, medication side effects, stress and anxiety all of which can put a kibosh to our libido. Therefore, it is imperative that you feel free to discuss these issues with your physician as soon as they arise and not make it a “door -effect” as I like to call it… I.E. “oh by the way doctor, I have this problem when I have intercourse,” as you are walking out the door of the examining room. of course we must also remember that like the infamous “birds and the bees” sexual prowess’s can be wide and varied depending on partner, experience (history of trauma, or abuse), culture, religion, etc.

For us women the reasons for sexual dysfunction- this refers to

  • lack or loss of sexual desire
  • anxiety during intercourse- muscle stiffness, loss of bladder control
  • pain during intercourse- recurrent urinary infections
  • dryness- this is one of the most common problems from autonomic dysfunction (decrease blood flow) ; hormonal changes
  • trouble achieving orgasm
  • vaginismus- muscle contract involuntarily preventing penetration

How to prevent Parkinson’s from hijacking your libido and sexual desire:

Having sexual problems may feel like an insurmountable task to overcome thus may be tempted to throw in the towel and give up and give into disease.  however, with lots of love, patience, and persistence you and your partner may begin to enjoy a healthy sexual interaction that does not always mean sexual intercourse in order to be satisfying and fulfilling. Sometimes SEX ( BIG and BOLD) is just s e x (barely present) yet equally rewarding.

Since vaginal dryness is a HUGE issue- try lubricants ( water based best) don’t be afraid to stop and use more if needed. Hormonal replacement topical or oral can also go a long way for this as well as help with some of the loss of libido issues.

Of course fatigue and poor energy can be a disastrous problem when trying to be at maximal arousal- thus try different times of the day or night when you are most awake and energetic- I guarantee you will sleep better and burn off a few calories in the process.

Incontinence- many of us with PD especially as disease advances may find ourselves dealing with this pesky and extremely embarrassing problem. Don’t hide or avoid intimacy altogether, instead talk to your partner and your doctor. Padding the bed with some towels or disposable urine pads like the ones used in hospital, which can be purchased at a medical supply store, can help ease the discomfort and allow you to relax.

Don’t neglect your relationship, find other ways to be intimate. I love when my husband massages my back especially since it is so stiff that I almost appreciate that as much or more depending on my mood than intercourse. spend time cuddling, or touching each other, bathing together. a single touch (hug) of 7-8 seconds can release as much natural neurotransmitters ( serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin) to make you happy.

Above all make time for one another aside from “caregiver/partner” and “patient.” This of course a lot of communication, which has to happen daily.

When all else fails or in conjunction to above  ( this will give best outcome) along with medications to help treat specific problems like infections, dryness, anxiety, incontinence, etc.; there are alternative treatments such as behavioral therapy for individuals and couples, sex therapy, acupuncture, yoga and meditation to name a few.

So go ahead embrace your sexuality and you like me may want to say

“I want it all!

I believe in love, lust, SEX, and romance

I don’t want everything to add up in perfectly neat equation

I want mess and chaos

I want someone to go crazy out of his mind for me

I want to feel passion, heat and madness.

I want it ALL!” (Mirror has two faces)

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Food for Thought on the Future of Health Care: by Maria De Leon

Comments 2 Standard

Now that the new president has been elected, politics aside, I am a bit excited and hopeful about the possibility of new, much needed in my opinion, healthcare changes.

As a physician and patient I have seen the drastic changes and not for the better, I might add, brought on by the recent year’s Health Care laws. These atrocious laws began targeting the medical practice since I was in medical school but only worsened in last several years culminating in a complete overhaul affecting the lives of millions of patient’s as well. As a physician, I have met only a handful of people whose’ ‘Affordable Health Care Act’ (AHCA) actually benefited while the majority of people like myself have only suffered. This is not even mentioning the breakdown in the establishment of medicine as we knew.

I don’t think I am alone when I say we need change desperately!

The first sign that that things were going array was the continues reduction of payment imposed by government on doctors with an increase intrusion of the government into how doctors practice medicine insisting on many new requirements such as electronic records-EMR (which are extremely expensive to buy and maintain to say the least) before they would compensate for our services and time. Thy also try to impose how we practiced medicine by attempting to dictate what medicines we should use on our patients .No other sector of society would tolerate such intrusions and governmental dictation on how to practice trade not related to government. Subsequently because of increased paper work and requirements doctors have been forced to increase their patient volume just to maintain their overhead and make a living. This, however, has created much discontent among patients because now (we) have to wait longer hours (even longer than previously) and be seen even shorter time because the demands on doctors time has tripled and quadrupled (especially in neurology where many physicians have left the field altogether) plus their need to make a living. Before I sold my practice, at the beginning of all these changes I was already forced to hire more clerical workers just to keep up with the demand of paperwork imposed on us. This alone was extremely stressful because it meant working longer hours just to come out barely even at times.

The increased wait time at doctor’s office or to be given an appointment by a physician especially a specialist like an MDS has created immediate discontent in all involved; but mostly in us patients who fail to see the big picture and attribute all problems in medicine to the only person we see- the doctor. 

For us patients feeling like we are not as important with the ever increasing impersonal settings with little eye contact and minimal physical interaction due to the constant need for doctors eyes to be focused on the machines required to document things and send prescriptions leaves a bad taste in our mouths particularly when already feeling scared, vulnerable and ill increasing our feelings of distrust and discontent towards our health care providers who are only human and trying their very best to tend to our needs while feeling multiple internal and external pressures. So please try to put yourselves in their shoes before exploding and feeling as if your time and your personal needs are not being taken into account.

Furthermore, the fact that prescriptions are now almost required by all pharmacies to be emailed can be another off -putting experience at the doctor’s office especially when computers fail. Dealing with equipment failure in our offices is not part of our training when it relates to EMR, which invariably happen much more than you think, is extremely frustrating and costly. Dealing with these government imposed issues of technology serve only to detract from the time spent with patient greatly impacting the patient –physician relationship. And in this society which demands immediate satisfaction for our needs, a one chance encounter is nearly doomed to failure with such high expectations from our parts.

Two personal Examples of technology deeply affecting the patient-doctor relationship are the following scenarios 1) when I was in practice my computer system crashed and took nearly a week to fix so my staff and I had no idea who was scheduled for following day to call to remind of their appointments; but worst we had no idea who would be showing up to our office. So not only did we not have charts ready (thank God no EM records yet) but could not check on their lab results nor the benefits beforehand for new patients. But, at least we could pull the charts and make new ones when patients arrived. Needless to say this caused a lot of confusion, headaches, and delays to all involved. 2) Fast forward a few years later now as a patient, I went to visit my neurologist and her system was down at the university, she had no chart, no record of my tests ( fortunately I am always prepared and had my own copies) and could not email my meds. She spent half of her time trying to email my meds then finally had to write down in a separate sheet to call in or email later.  I could empathize with her pain and frustration. Knowing that she was dealing with this all day would probably leave something out so I called the office another day to remind staff of which meds I needed.

Thus, we find ourselves in a Catch 22- 

Compound these frustrations on the physicians side by fact that patients are getting sicker and using up more hospital visits because they can’t afford their medication, are in never ending donut hole, and no longer can have medication samples or assistance as easily as before Medicare part D was instituted. Patients no longer have continuity of care essential to successful treatment because they go from Doctor to Doctor therefore never building a good rapport along with a long term care plan essential for any chronic illness. Furthermore, many patients feel flabbergasted and bamboozled because the affordable care is an oxymoron. Moreover, the majority of patients and hardworking individuals are getting less and less for their money. We are paying higher premiums yet have access to fewer doctors, medications, ancillary specialists, and qualify for fewer diagnostic test. We are forced or pressured to see more physician assistants (PA’s) and Nurse practitioners (NP’s) if want to be seen sooner or closer to our homes which can be disappointing for many who expect to see an actual physician especially in regards to specialists. Yet, these patients unjustly are paying the same premiums although the insurances and government pay less for the services provided by these other providers.

Moreover, the government and insurance companies have tried to convince everyone, doctors and patients alike, that all medications (brand and generic) are equal. The result is that previously controlled patients now are having many more break through seizures, migraines, strokes, dyskenesias, hallucinations, and falls to name a few because the changes in medications are proven to be ineffective or are no longer taking medication as prescribed because cannot afford. In my experience 7/10 times these things along with hospitalization can be prevented if either the insurance companies (which now falls under the government umbrella since AHCA was passed) would simply allow us doctors to do our jobs. Sadly, unless something is done there is absolutely no need for new research or new medications if they are not to be used in the treatment of diseases like Parkinson’s. I am appalled at the new attitudes emerging in this country calling for less medication. Stating that chronic pain can be cured with exercise- obviously these people never had chronic severe pain and calling for no or fewer medications again – they have never been in our shoes with chronic illnesses. Since I cut down the dosage of my medications because of ill effects on my heart my heart is good but my PD symptoms are no longer controlled. Am I happy to be taking fewer meds yes! Am I happy that I feel like awful without it – absolutely not! Is not just the feeling but the limitations on my body imposed by my disease without medicines that I can’t tolerate and will find a way to blend the two so that I can function better for me and my families sake.

Another issue with our current healthcare system is the substitution of brand name medicines for generic ones, which was initially based on cost, makes absolutely no sense anymore in regards to patients needs because generic medications now cost as much or more as brand name medicines both requiring an enormous amount of paperwork from your physician and their staff just to allow us to have things we need to get along on a daily basis. My husband is prime example of how the system has failed many. He has severe cholesterolemia (critical numbers) which was well controlled for years until the new healthcare changes occurred. Our insurance plan first kept increasing the price of meds then refused to pay for them so came a long list of trial medication causing a slew of side effects one worse than the previous each time and not controlling his cholesterol which is sky high..(Only thing that gives me comfort is the longevity of life in His family) we are at the point that all meds which he needs have been denied and out of pocket cost is about thousand dollars per month along with the multiple high cost medications I need this is not feasible. Thus, he is now trying a variety of over the counter supplements while I am praying he does not have a fat emboli causing him to have a stroke or heart attack.

So as I said at the beginning, we desperately need reform in the way doctors and patients are viewed (rather valued) by our government/society. With new changes perhaps the field of neurology can once again flourish and tend to the needs of an ever growing elder population in which Parkinson’s disease plays a major role. One never knows if things change enough I would be happy and capable of rejoining the ranks of my fellow neurologists and MDS to help PD persons like me without having to worry how I will be able to pay for my overhead and employees salary causing my own illness to spin out of control dealing with the external unnecessary burdens which have sucked the life of those still in the practice of medicine including my husband’s. Although, I am aware that with any new scientific discoveries, making new health policies and /or making amendments to existing policies can be a slow process but one we should all strive to see happen for our health and that of our children.

 

Contact your state representatives as well as the public policy branch of the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s research and let them know your specific issues with accessing health care, getting medications and seeing MDS in your area. Change cannot occur without first admitting there is a problem.

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

 

Caregiving is not for the faint of heart: 7 tips to make it work: By Maria De Leon

Comments 5 Standard

“Don’t dwell on the disease, value the moments. the pearls of wisdom, their smile and humor.” ~unknown

 

Whoever says caregiving is easy has never really been a caregiver; it is absolutely hard work. But, if you do it with love it will be the most rewarding thing you ever do in your life. I absolutely guarantee it.

Many of us will at one point in our life be called to play this role and provide full or part-time care for someone we love (i.e. – spouse, parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, even close friends). Some of us may even have to provide care to multiple generations simultaneously known as the ‘sandwich effect’.

The caregiver role typically falls under the responsibility of women. Because women are often viewed as natural nurtures, we are often put in this role even if not fully equipped. I recently had the privilege of speaking at a Parkinson’s caregivers support meeting in Dickinson, Texas and was very pleased to see many men attending the meeting. With the perceived increased in young women with PD, I believe that this current trend will be shifting as men are suddenly thrusted into this role. The effect on the caregiver independent of age and gender is nearly always the same.  The caregiver struggles with issues of depression, anxiety, and isolation the longer the length of time performing this duty. These issues are further compounded by rising cost of health care, uncertainty of future, and inability to work as desired to better the financial situation due to the pressing need of that person to remain at home to care for loved one.

I have on an occasion or two been responsible for the care of several loved ones in my family. Although, in two instances the duration was relatively short, less than a year; at the time it felt interminable. The stressed soared through the roof as the demands physical, mental, and emotional increased along with my demands at home as a mother, wife and physician piled on. Also, my patience decreased with increased fatigue and physical exhaustion and in my grandmother’s case, I had help from a lady I hired to watch grandma while I worked and from my spouse during weekends and after hours. Yet, at times I felt as if I would be completely shattered under the heavy burden of life’s duties and responsibilities compounded by 24/7 care of a loved one at home. Having psychotic patients at the office, hospital as well as at home can be quite maddening at times. With my father the burden of long distance was also difficult since I was the primary decision maker regarding his health. Traveling weekly and staying away from home weeks at a time was also difficult.

Now, imagine the type of stress, frustration and anxiety a caregiver must succumb to in the presence of a chronic progressive illness such as Parkinson’s disease in a loved one who have no other outside help or assistance?

Compound this feeling and multiply it ten-fold in the case where both partners are chronically ill or are elderly – the result is a veritable hot mess ready to implode on itself at a moment’s notice. Sometimes it is absolutely impossible to tend to someone else’s needs when our own medical and personal problems are at stake. I know this all too well from my own personal experience. In dealing with my father’s cancer week after week my Parkinson’s symptoms suddenly jumped up a notch. This meant it was harder for me to stay in the hospital with him, drive to and fro my house to his, and tend to his needs and whims; not without causing me to feel at times like his illness was a major imposition in my own life. This meant forgoing medical treatment for my own medical issues, leaving my daughter and husband unattended frequently meanwhile the need for larger doses of dopamine rapidly escalated to keep up with the physical and emotional demands.

I have worked with thousand’s of patients and family members who have been caregivers (partners) for various lengths of time and the feeling is unanimous. Caregiving can be exhausting, soul sucking even if you allow it by not getting outside help and allow friends, and other family members to become part of the inner circle of trust. These valuable individuals can lend a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on, prepare a meal, run errands, do grocery shopping, sit with your loved one or simply hold your hand in times of overwhelming stress. Never forgetting that the key to successful long term care depends on a few factors.

Even when you have aid from outsiders, there is an amount of stress that comes about due to blurring of boundaries. It is difficult to maintain a private personal life or achieve quiet time if continuously bombarded with people at your home. We all need respite from time to time even if it’s just to sit alone undisturbed for an hour of peace to be alone with your own thoughts.

#1 open communication –know your loved ones desires and wishes and vice versa- dreams should not die because of illness rather be modified.

#2 get support – no man is an island, we are all connected and when one is ill the others suffer as well.

#3 take care of yourself first- can’t burn candle at both ends otherwise the flame will be extinguished much sooner and your loved one will suffer and wither faster.

#4 plan activities together and separate- have friends over, do book clubs, bingo, puzzles, etc.

#5 don’t sweat the small stuff -Laugh and share stories. So what if the house is not perfectly tidy as long as you and loved one happy.

#6 concentrate in the love- look at the situation as a glass half full not half empty.

#7 this too shall pass!!! When the loved one is gone like my dad and grandmother you would give anything to have them back. So savor the moments together. Life goes by in a blink of an eye!

Today is my dad’s death anniversary, he has been gone from us for 2 years but the laugher and the love remain. Miss you and love you dad!

Leave you with a Prayer- partially composed from Author unknown

 Unknown and often unnoticed, you are a hero nonetheless.

Your love is GOD at is BEST.

You walk by faith in the darkness of the great unknown,

and your bravery, even in weakness, gives life to your beloved.

You hold their shaking hands and provide the ultimate care; 

With your mere presence you provide immeasurable comfort

and courageously face the giant of PD and its despair.

It is your finest hour, although you might be unaware.

You are resilient and beauty excelled;

You are the caregiver and have been blessed for simply being there.

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Parkinson’s & My Love for Fashion: By Maria De Leon

Comments 3 Standard

” Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” ~ Carolina Herrera

Image-“Red Shoes” by Ross Webb

 

As you all know I am a fashionista at heart and having PD initially put a damper on my love of shoes and actually diminished my collection because the initial foot dystonia and pain caused me so much discomfort that it was hard to work. In my profession as a neurologist, I had to stand and walk a lot. The burning, searing pain along with involuntary toe movements made it extremely difficult to wear some of my favorite shoes. Erroneously thinking it was the shoes I was wearing the culprits of my pain, I got rid of many pairs including some very cute and stylish red shoes which I absolutely loved. In my practice I was known as much for my shoes as I was for my hugs so having to change was a huge deal. Due to my severe discomfort, I was then forced to wear tennis shoes for the first time in my life which I absolutely abhorred but unfortunately it was the only thing I could stand on my feet.meshoes

Of course after my disease was confirmed, in the process of stabilizing my doses, it was difficult to walk with my stilettos and even chunky heels if they were higher than an inch. Because of initial poor balance and mild stooped posture wearing heels only served to shift my center of gravity forward causing severe back pain along with increased unbalance. However, even though there was a time of a year span in which I had to use a walker and barely able to lift my feet I never lost sight of being able to wear beautiful shoes again. Although, I did have to accommodate and find a new way of meshing the styles I love with the practicality and comfort required for someone who has PD. Fortunately, there are so many choices to choose from compared to even 20 years ago.

PD has not stopped me from loving shoes and looking for stylish comfortable pairs that would work with PD rather it has become another challenge to thrive on. I have discovered that I am unable to wear high shaft boots without zippers – hard to put on and nearly impossible to take off. Never mind the off balance waddling that sometimes would occur if begin to shuffle while wearing them.

Thankfully, as I have improved with medication and therapy, I am so happy to put away my tennis shoes which I hope not to see again for a long time. So in the last couple of years, I have been once more augmenting my shoe collection. I find that sometimes, the best therapy for self-esteem and empowering of a woman particularly one dealing with chronic illness like those of us with PD is retail therapy especially shopping for beautiful shoes. This was certainly the case for me this past month. After being hospitalized and being poked and prodded over the last two months, I needed some new shoes to parade about as I slowly regained my composure and returned to my normal Parkinson’s diva self. Although, it began as a simple trip to the mall with no expectations, other than just get out of the house and spend time with mom it ended up being one of the most rewarding and fulfilling shopping spree I have had in a very long time. Particularly when we found this one shoe store that had so many new styles and colors for the fall season mom which happened to be 1/2 off. I love nothing more than buying beautiful shoes at an affordable rate. So I bought grey booties & stylish suede loafers, blue high heel espadrilles, red pumps, my very first pair of brown leather boots in a very long time (since brown is usually not my color), and an evening shoe which happened to be leopard print… no one can be without a high heel animal print to put some fun and mischievousness in a woman’s wardrobe.za

The outing was an exhilarating one which prepared me mentally to continue my PD fight to show PD go is boss. With my new fall collection at my disposal, I am poised once more to continue my work with women in PD alongside health professionals, law- makers and women with PD everywhere. Today, as I finished discussing my impressive shoe collection and latest spree with my sister-in-law, I came across an article I had missed about another young professional with PD who seems to love fashion and shoes as much as I do. She too appears to have amassed an impressive shoe collection as I. But, I must say that at least in her pictures her shoes are better displayed than mine which sometimes end up on the floor because I am too stiff to bend over to pick up. I, like her, am using my love for fashion to increase strides in the neuroscience of PD while empowering other women (you) with PD to do the same. Go ahead use your own fashion sense and favorite shoes to show PD, you still have the upper hand. As the moto for this blog site goes… ” a woman can conquer the world with the right shoes!”

Tips for wearing stylish but safe shoes  with PD :

Be accessory conscientious – don’t buy shoes with lots of traction if freezing nor slippery ones if tendency to fall

Don’t get frazzled and tied down – if you have tremors that are hard to control don’t want shoes with lots of stamps or dainty clasps which are nearly impossible to tie. Wear ones with big zippers on the side or one with big buckles better yet slip on if having trouble bending

Always keep a spare as I often do when I travel I wear lower heel more comfortable shoes that I can change easily when I arrive to my conferences and a more stylish chunkier heel or dressier shoe is called for.

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

A week in the life of a Parkinson’s diva- by Maria De Leon

Leave a comment Standard

“It is a beautiful thing when a career and a passion come together.” ~unknown

It is always nice when things work out serendipitously. What can be better than combining one’s own passions?  I tell you there is a great joy when your passions and interest and mesh together as it did this past week for me.

I was forced to be on a strict diet for the last 3 weeks in preparation for this past weeks poking and prodding in order to rule out any underlying recurrent cancer. Not being able to eat seafood, nuts, pasta, bread, or  dairy products was a challenge. Particularly when my to go snack is a handful of nuts. Plus, having teenagers around who are constantly foraging and gravitate top these same food groups did not make it any easier. I must admit it was hard and had to sneak in a couple of bites here and there of bread. Mom making fresh flour tortillas for breakfast did not help in the least.

So of course when my tests were done despite having severe nausea and feeling weak, I headed straight to an Italian restaurant to indulge in some lentil soup, and chicken sandwich loaded with mozzarella cheese, only after taking Zofran.

I was so extremely overjoyed to enjoy food once again that although the nausea seemed to have returned after eating, I could not pass the opportunity of visiting one of my favorite clothing stores-TALBOTS- love their red doors! Especially since there is none close to home. Plus,  I was sad I would have to miss yet again another great customer “party.” To my surprise, they were in the midst of hosting a fashion show. Of course this delighted me completely and quickly found a spot to sit. Initially, the nausea, heat and hot flashes from the small radiation doses I had received were extremely distracting. But as my husband always says “where there is a ‘Bebe’ (one of my many nicknames) there is a way.”  Surely I was not going to miss this fashion show and special prices event which I had stumbled into fortuitously just because I had some side effects to the treatment and was stiffer than usual.  So for a while I simply sat there quietly enjoying the ambience wishing I could feel better so I would not be sick in the middle of the floor. I stood once again and made my way to the table of delectable goodies to grab some cold water to take more pills when one of the attendants asked me how I was liking show. Trying to be polite and making small conversation so I could return to my seat, I asked how the models were chosen? she then proceeded to ask me if I would be interested in modeling for them at their next event.

Seems like suddenly I was experiencing another ‘Kamehameha’ moment all over. When we were in Hawaii over spring break while doing our usual touring, I began to experience severe discomfort which escalated to more intense pain in my back as we were walking. but suddenly upon reaching the site where King Kamehameha statue is located in Honolulu  because it is the headquarters for the T.V. show Hawaii- five- o, I became so enthralled that my pain and all discomfort dissipated completely- forever known in my family as the ‘Kamehameha effect.

Image result for king kamehameha statue in honoluluT

Having regained some energy, when the national sales manager Pam approached me about what I liked about their products and fall line, I seized the opportunity to discuss possible partnership to do Parkinson’s awareness just like they do breast cancer awareness. After discussing my role in advocacy, my platform on women’s issues in PD and explaining my love for fashion and need for women with PD to feel empowered over their disease, she was completely on board. although, they could not endorse PD as they do breast cancer awareness, she was willing to take back to headquarters and in meantime offered to partner in the winter for a charitable event with their red winter wardrobe line which could involve several stores in the Houston area. Although, nothing is set in stone as of yet, the possibility of this is taking place is terribly exciting, more importantly the seed was planted. Like all fruit trees  even though they must be watered and cared for, a fertile soil is essential for it to take root and grow. Lets hope this new idea takes and leads to greater awareness in women (gender) issues within the Parkinson’s community.

Furthermore, I was ecstatic about the possibility that I mentioned it to a good friend of mine who happens to be a drug rep for Azilect and she took was excited by this that she said she would talk to her superiors.

After spending a week in my old stomping ground (Houston Medical Center ) and seeing patient after patient with PD many of whom were young women- the time to take action is now and what better way to bring women of diverse backgrounds together and inform on PD then through a fashion show. After all, as one of the world’s best fashion designers who happens to be a Hispanic woman like myself  – Carolina Herrera, once quipped : “the impossible does not truly exist for (a PD) woman only time to achieve it.”

Together we are strong

Together we can #end PD

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Finding Inspiration All Around Us: by Maria De Leon

Leave a comment Standard

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” Eleanor Roosevelt  

 We are all planned, planted and pruned for a purpose by God.

The last month, as all of you who have been following my blogs have discovered,  I had a small set back which has led to some decompensation due to having PD as a chronic underlying illness. This is not entirely uncommon especially for those of us who are as complex as I am. But, as  bad as I have felt most of you know that I am not one to give up or just sit around ….although I must admit I have been sleeping a lot more than usual. Nevertheless, I am determined to get back to my base line and able to continue traveling and speaking so besides having a ton of doctors appointments which have required someone else to drive me in one or two occasions, I have resumed water therapy.

We have a new instructor who is simply wonderful and understands well the complexity of the body especially for those of us who have neurological illnesses like Parkinson’s disease and incorporates techniques of tai-chi, yoga, and cardio all in water settings. while doing these exercises I have discovered two things. one, that I am weaker than I thought ant two that even though I feel great while doing these exercises afterwards I feel completely wasted due to severe nausea and vertigo it triggers. However, within this same setting I have encountered several of my patients who I was not only delighted to see but also glad to see they were engaging in therapy.

One particular patient has completely inspired me to continue despite the ill effects it has produced. because I know this too shall pass as I always say but recently I heard someone say that it would pass like a kidney stone. That is exactly how I feel, slow and at times down right excruciating. Yet, my discomfort no matter how painful is nothing comparable to what some of you have endured and what some of my patients have suffered. particularly, this courageous lady who has a most severe neurological disease which has now left her nearly paraplegic with severe upper extremity tremors. But having this illness has not stopped her one bit. You will see her around town frequently in her motorized wheelchair doing for herself and others. Similarly, she is there in the pool without fail trying her best to follow the instructor. Last session she nearly drowned a couple of times. somehow I doubt that this minor things in her mind will keep her from coming back. Knowing that she has endured  for a lot longer than I have and continuous to fight daily has given me the courage to persevere and deeply admire her inner fortitude. so, when Wednesday comes I will take some Zofran prior to my exercise therapy and I will be there working at getting myself well once again and encouraging her to continue while keeping a closer eye on her so no more incidents of near drowning occur like having life guards near by and having her wear a life vest.

So you see, all you have to do is look around and you are apt to find some inspiration in your life . No matter how bad we think we might be or have it there is always a reason to go on fighting. it may take a bit longer but I know I will be among you chatting and visiting once more very soon; because in the end we are always worth MORE than we feel and there are no strongholds greater than God.

Image By Andre Kohn

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Looking for the Lovely in Life: by Maria De Leon

Comments 2 Standard

Suffering creates patience and patience builds character and character builds hope.”

Romans 5:3-5

 

It is easier to find things to be happy about when things are looking up and everything is going our way. However, when we are faced with a chronic illness, especially as our strenght diminishes looking and finding lovely things around us, which reminds us of brighter days and better tomorrow’s, is not always an easy feat.

I love the word lovely…it means beauty beyond compare. Something that is worth loving and fighting for. In the Bible Queen Esther was described as lovely. this is the same word I would use to describe the love of my life- simply lovely!

Lately, as I have once more been confronted with declining health, I started thinking about this word which unfortunately is not use very much in our society. the power of this word led me to think about the loveliness of God in my life through the years. Now more than ever, I wish to again hold on to that loveliness and beauty  as I find myself being torn yet again about knowing what needs to be done from a doctor’s perspective  while being terribly unhappy as a ‘impatient’ patient that needs to submit herself once more to the medical scrutiny and becoming a test subject to determine my full health issues and get back on track.

As I gear up for an extensive week of testing which involves, poking, prodding and a bit of educated guessing I really have to focus on the lovely things in my life to get me through this rough patch where I may become worse before I am better; or discover another bad problem which I am not ready to accept or deal with just yet. All the while trying to maintain my composure, hope, faith, and a daily routine especially as the new school year is about to commence with all of its challenges and demands.

When we are down and troubled we as humans sometimes just want to quit and give up . But this is the time when we need to persevere the most.

How do we persevere in the midst of trials and hardships?

We do so by finding the lovely in our lives. Looking for lovely is akin to remembering someone we love deeply and is no longer present or near by.

I am sure you are all aware of what I am referring to. when you love someone wholeheartedly, everything reminds you of that person.

Similarly, when you are down and trying to hold on conjure up those images of people and places which brought great joy and comfort. Think about all the situations in the past which seemed bleak  yet; you were able to overcome through perseverance. Look around at the beauty of a sunset, or the colors of the changing seasons, or the calmness of a wintery scene. All of them are beautiful in their own unique way and serve a purpose.

Appreciate the changes that are inevitable as the seasons. Look forward to new discoveries, new beginnings, times of rest and pruning as we welcome the unexpected changes and surprises. Me suddenly having a mini stroke and pulmonary embolism certainly was out of the blue and unforeseen but  I am learning to embraced it as a way to enhance my patience, since this has always been one of my worst traits. As the above verse came to mind, I guess in order to achieve patience one must suffer. I got a disease that makes me slow in more ways than one. But, patience is not the end goal rather than living a life full of loveliness and hope as my character is further enhanced and stripped of things that make me less than lovely and keep me from my work of helping others.  So as I undergo further testing and evaluation, I will meet friends that remind me of beautiful things, I will cherish the love of the man I love, talk more with God and appreciate His goodness in my life even as I write this. Then use what I learn to take the next step in my journey in life with Parkinson’s disease.

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

(inspired by Bible study of same name )

A Decade of Methamorphosis: by Maria De Leon

Leave a comment Standard

It has been nearly ten years since my life changed drastically – which reminds me of the saying” be careful what you wish for.” It was about the last time that I  remember feeling pure exuberant joy- as if your heart were going to leap out of your chest and take flight.

I said that I wished I could get a new start in life and reinvent myself in my forties..well my wish came true…and I Never been happier. But the journey has not been without struggles, without tears, frustration, depression, and utter rage at other times the battle seemed all uphill. Along the way, I also suffered many personal losses that nearly toppled me over but thank goodness for the small victories and the BIG overwhelming grace of my Heavenly father who has seen fit to see me through till today.

Yesterday, for the first time again I felt a spark of joy building within me and a faint leap of my heart took place within my chest; and all is right with the world. Don’t get me wrong, there is till much to overcome and much to learn about this illness and myself. Yet, I remain hopeful that together we will find more and more therapies, treatments to allow our loved ones suffering from this cruel disease to feel hope and joy once more.

I simply love the blue morpho butterfly- maybe because its beginnings are ordinary like all other butterflies yet it grows to be one of the largest most beautiful butterflies in the world captivating millions of people worldwide with its iridescent beauty. This always fascinated me especially now as I live with a chronic illness which tends to slow me down. I often think about the  30 million insects that exist  around the world composed by 600,000 of species of  species or so yet few insects can draw as much attention and affection in others towards this animal for its uniqueness. having Parkinson’s makes me a bit slow and clumsy just like this butterfly whose flight is one marked by slowness and punctuations due to the incredible span of its wings which is too heavy for its body yet its ability in flight is one which few other predators can master making the blue butterfly difficult to catch. the top wings are not blue colored rather have scales which allow light to reflect off this mirror like surface making it seem blue while its under side which is brown makes the butterflies appear as if the disappear through space as the fly giving them a mystical quality.

They excel gracefully above their limitations just as many Parkinson’s individuals do fooling people in thinking we are slow and dull meanwhile when our inner beauty is expose it is unlike any other. We, too, defy the laws of nature doing and performing above and beyond what our natural capabilities would have us do. Their life is short lived as some of our is due to our illness but that does not diminish in any way the joy others feel to be around us and us with them. Nor is our joy diminished as we capture a glimpse of the natural beauty of this fabulous creature. The world is much more colorful due to their existence just as the world is much better for our transformations after living with PD. This is  because many  like myself have been metamorphed into something much more beautiful than we were before our disease when we were self-righteous, inpatient, living for the moment, without faith, much joy, peace nor self- control, focused on the wrong priorities and truly miserable and unhappy within.

copyright-2016

all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD