What I have been surprised to discover while living with Parkinson’s disease? By Maria De Leon

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The other day, I dreamt of God above – He smiled and said: ‘don’t worry, your faith is strong; you know you have been here before. Just gaze upon my face and everything shall be alright.’ I smiled at HIM and softly uttered a broken Hallelujah! – Alleluia. Alleluia
Although, my faith IS strong and has grown immensely over the last decade somedays it seems that the dark clouds in life want to hang on just a bit longer than usual putting all our beliefs to the test.
This seems to be the case for me over the last month.

So, I had to remind myself of how far I have come and all the challenges I have endured in the past which have only served to make me stronger. I like to think of the peaks and valleys we have gone through in our life as a mechanism to help us get through things faster and with greater ease. (Just like the brain network is connected via myelinated sheaths which help disseminate information quicker from one area to another- if we would interrupt the myelin, information would surely get delayed and we might even find ourselves stuck. Such are our past experiences, the more we have overcome the greater ease we have of moving forward…)

I have learned that God is strongest when I am weak.
I have learned that I am much stronger than I once thought and much more resilient than I ever gave myself credit for. I thought I would never survive the first diagnosis of a chronic illness, nor giving up my practice. Yet, here I stand …
Despite years of trying to hide my physical flaws, I have learned to embrace those blemishes, scars, and all. I have learned to focus on my most attractive features which are my smile and my “Spanish” eyes.
I have learned to love myself strengths and weaknesses. After all beauty begins when we first decide to love ourselves. At times, we must learn to turn our weaknesses into strengths. For instance, once upon a time I was extremely shy and afraid of speaking in public (hard to believe I know). I would become paralyzed with fear of being judged. These days however, I embrace it fully. Public speaking has been a source of great joy in my life as I seem to have become the voice for women with Parkinson’s disease and other chronic illnesses.
I have learned that we all have the inner fortitude to do what you could not do before- I am learning to wait in silence and developing beaucoup patience!
I have learned that you will feel what you did not before- sympathy, empathy, kindness, love, gratitude…
I have become knowledgeable on things I never knew.
I have also learned that inner beauty never fades.
I love being a mom.
I am creative after all.
I am a trendsetter and fashionista at heart.
I am excited about living life to the fullest.
I cherish my time with my girlfriends.
Beauty and inspiration come from places we least expect.
All women are strong beautiful and able and we were fiercely made for a time such as this.
So go ahead find your passion and bring out your inner beauty by discovering new horizons and gifts within yourself. Despite what you may be facing today- you are not alone, you are loved, and this too shall pass! You just have to hold on long enough and keep the faith.

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all rights reserved by Maria De Leon

Fashion & Chronic Illness: Maria De Leon

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Fashion is a form of art. It is an outward expression of my inner self.  Just because  I have Parkinson’s and have had cancer, on more than one occasion,  does not mean that I  have to abandon my sense of style and neither should you!

Image result for images of quotes on art and fashionFashion is the most powerful art there is, it’s movement design, and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we would like to be.” Blair Waldorf

Just like Coco channel, ” I don’t do fashion …I am {and make my own} fashion.” however, when you live with a chronic illness like PD where sometimes there is not enough energy to even get dressed or get out of bed being stylish and fashionable can seem a bit trivial.

But, I say is not because when we feel the lowest that’s when we have to mustard all the strength in the world to paint our canvases that will shout without saying a word…I am still me and no matter how bad it seems I will not be defeated!

Ralph Laurence said it best, Fashion is something that comes from within. are we in the game or are we out? Will be surrender to live in a constant state of hopelessness and oblivion with our stretchy pants and pj tops or are going to be women who will find a way to rise pink boxing gloves in hand?

This does not mean you have to spend a fortune or dress up in formal apparel, it simply means that no matter what you will paint your own destiny with the things that make you who you are.

If you can’t do your lashes get fake ones cost very little to put on  and they last 4-5 days and you will feel fabulous. If eyeliner is hard to do, consider permanent eye liner. Get thick mascara brushes for lashes which can be applied easily in one stroke or vibrating brushes (Lancôme) which will help with the dystonia and tremors if fake lashes are not your thing.

God knows that taking a gazillion medications wreak havoc with our skin, hair and nails. when these look bad we tend to feel more self conscious and perhaps it might even aggravate our depression. But, doing our nails especially our toes can be more than a challenge. First, we can’t always easily bend to apply nail polish to our toes due to the stiffness.  If by some miracle we are able to, the tremors and dystonia make the paint brush strokes look like those of a 3 year old. Then if we manage to paint our beautiful little toes, removing the darn nail polish  can take an act of congress. My hands cramp and twist just trying to remove polish off one toe which is a work out in and of itself. Now that summer is here, we certainly don’t want to go out to the beach with our toes bear and poorly manicured, I know I don’t. Especially, given the fact that the medications can make our toe nails brittle and discolored on top of bendy twisty toes. I choose to put my best foot forward and splurge for a good pedi -cure with a good massage to the achy feet and legs. of course, you may choose traditional colors or even a bit of whimsy like I have this summer …going for some watermelon toes or a rainbow of pastels.Image result for watermelon toenails

But, if you prefer to do it yourself. There are a few options. You may wish to buy fast drying gel polishes which look great even if you mess up some plus they last longer ..but make sure to buy gel polish remover so you won’t struggle so much. Also because we are more susceptible to other illnesses when we have a chronic disease avoid using artificial nails which trap bacteria and can lead to fungal infections. Look  for water based polishes which are non toxic and  non- flammable-especially great if you will do some traveling this summer.  you may also wish to purchase those strip nail which may be fun to play with. you simply have to cut/ trim to fit your nail.Image result for strip nailsImage result for strip nailsImage result for strip nails

If you want to splurge a bit and have your nails look great for a longer time, consider doing shellac – comes in a rainbow of colors, which I love. But, under no circumstances should you file your nail bed before applying gel polish for shellac because it will destroy your nails for months. I just had mine done for the summer. Having manicured hands and toes makes me feel special and “normal” not like a chronic illness person.  This year I went for patriotic look -(sorry, a bit blurry)

nailsHowever, I would not recommend doing this method more than once a year. This requires the  use of UV light and those of us with Parkinson’s disease are more prone to having melanomas which does not exclude the nail beds. They do take more time to remove- but if you soak with non-toxic gel nail polish remover then place a cotton soaked in polish remover and wrap with foil for a few minutes, this will peel off easily. make sure you use vitamin e oil on your nail beds afterward and don’t forget to moisturize your hands nightly.

Now, that you are feeling almost human again having had a nice mani and pedi go out and frolic about and soak those sun rays which are full of vitamin D. But, while you are out there showing of your own personal style don’t forget the heat can be brutal for those of us with chronic illnesses. make sure you stay hydrated remember that even a tiny amount of liquor if you are craving for a margarita with a little umbrella can seriously interfere with your medications especially if you are tired,  and dehydrated as it did me the other day. Thank goodness for mom’s who are around to help out in times of need. A tiny mango margarita with barely a touch of alcohol did me, on my birthday, making me feel dizzy and putting me to sleep for the rest of the day. Although, the saltiness and coldness of it tasted good, the after effect was not worth the trouble. Guess no more celebrating for me. This 4th of July is water and sweet tea!

So as you enjoy your favorite activities of the summer – don’t forget to wear plenty of sunscreen, sun glasses and something red if cant think of anything else to wear and above all don’t forget to Image result for fashion quoteslove,

Parkinson’s Diva

Happy Fourth Everyone!!!!

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all rights reserved by Maria De Leon

Parkinson’s & My Love for Fashion: By Maria De Leon

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” Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” ~ Carolina Herrera

Image-“Red Shoes” by Ross Webb

 

As you all know I am a fashionista at heart and having PD initially put a damper on my love of shoes and actually diminished my collection because the initial foot dystonia and pain caused me so much discomfort that it was hard to work. In my profession as a neurologist, I had to stand and walk a lot. The burning, searing pain along with involuntary toe movements made it extremely difficult to wear some of my favorite shoes. Erroneously thinking it was the shoes I was wearing the culprits of my pain, I got rid of many pairs including some very cute and stylish red shoes which I absolutely loved. In my practice I was known as much for my shoes as I was for my hugs so having to change was a huge deal. Due to my severe discomfort, I was then forced to wear tennis shoes for the first time in my life which I absolutely abhorred but unfortunately it was the only thing I could stand on my feet.meshoes

Of course after my disease was confirmed, in the process of stabilizing my doses, it was difficult to walk with my stilettos and even chunky heels if they were higher than an inch. Because of initial poor balance and mild stooped posture wearing heels only served to shift my center of gravity forward causing severe back pain along with increased unbalance. However, even though there was a time of a year span in which I had to use a walker and barely able to lift my feet I never lost sight of being able to wear beautiful shoes again. Although, I did have to accommodate and find a new way of meshing the styles I love with the practicality and comfort required for someone who has PD. Fortunately, there are so many choices to choose from compared to even 20 years ago.

PD has not stopped me from loving shoes and looking for stylish comfortable pairs that would work with PD rather it has become another challenge to thrive on. I have discovered that I am unable to wear high shaft boots without zippers – hard to put on and nearly impossible to take off. Never mind the off balance waddling that sometimes would occur if begin to shuffle while wearing them.

Thankfully, as I have improved with medication and therapy, I am so happy to put away my tennis shoes which I hope not to see again for a long time. So in the last couple of years, I have been once more augmenting my shoe collection. I find that sometimes, the best therapy for self-esteem and empowering of a woman particularly one dealing with chronic illness like those of us with PD is retail therapy especially shopping for beautiful shoes. This was certainly the case for me this past month. After being hospitalized and being poked and prodded over the last two months, I needed some new shoes to parade about as I slowly regained my composure and returned to my normal Parkinson’s diva self. Although, it began as a simple trip to the mall with no expectations, other than just get out of the house and spend time with mom it ended up being one of the most rewarding and fulfilling shopping spree I have had in a very long time. Particularly when we found this one shoe store that had so many new styles and colors for the fall season mom which happened to be 1/2 off. I love nothing more than buying beautiful shoes at an affordable rate. So I bought grey booties & stylish suede loafers, blue high heel espadrilles, red pumps, my very first pair of brown leather boots in a very long time (since brown is usually not my color), and an evening shoe which happened to be leopard print… no one can be without a high heel animal print to put some fun and mischievousness in a woman’s wardrobe.za

The outing was an exhilarating one which prepared me mentally to continue my PD fight to show PD go is boss. With my new fall collection at my disposal, I am poised once more to continue my work with women in PD alongside health professionals, law- makers and women with PD everywhere. Today, as I finished discussing my impressive shoe collection and latest spree with my sister-in-law, I came across an article I had missed about another young professional with PD who seems to love fashion and shoes as much as I do. She too appears to have amassed an impressive shoe collection as I. But, I must say that at least in her pictures her shoes are better displayed than mine which sometimes end up on the floor because I am too stiff to bend over to pick up. I, like her, am using my love for fashion to increase strides in the neuroscience of PD while empowering other women (you) with PD to do the same. Go ahead use your own fashion sense and favorite shoes to show PD, you still have the upper hand. As the moto for this blog site goes… ” a woman can conquer the world with the right shoes!”

Tips for wearing stylish but safe shoes  with PD :

Be accessory conscientious – don’t buy shoes with lots of traction if freezing nor slippery ones if tendency to fall

Don’t get frazzled and tied down – if you have tremors that are hard to control don’t want shoes with lots of stamps or dainty clasps which are nearly impossible to tie. Wear ones with big zippers on the side or one with big buckles better yet slip on if having trouble bending

Always keep a spare as I often do when I travel I wear lower heel more comfortable shoes that I can change easily when I arrive to my conferences and a more stylish chunkier heel or dressier shoe is called for.

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all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

A week in the life of a Parkinson’s diva- by Maria De Leon

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“It is a beautiful thing when a career and a passion come together.” ~unknown

It is always nice when things work out serendipitously. What can be better than combining one’s own passions?  I tell you there is a great joy when your passions and interest and mesh together as it did this past week for me.

I was forced to be on a strict diet for the last 3 weeks in preparation for this past weeks poking and prodding in order to rule out any underlying recurrent cancer. Not being able to eat seafood, nuts, pasta, bread, or  dairy products was a challenge. Particularly when my to go snack is a handful of nuts. Plus, having teenagers around who are constantly foraging and gravitate top these same food groups did not make it any easier. I must admit it was hard and had to sneak in a couple of bites here and there of bread. Mom making fresh flour tortillas for breakfast did not help in the least.

So of course when my tests were done despite having severe nausea and feeling weak, I headed straight to an Italian restaurant to indulge in some lentil soup, and chicken sandwich loaded with mozzarella cheese, only after taking Zofran.

I was so extremely overjoyed to enjoy food once again that although the nausea seemed to have returned after eating, I could not pass the opportunity of visiting one of my favorite clothing stores-TALBOTS- love their red doors! Especially since there is none close to home. Plus,  I was sad I would have to miss yet again another great customer “party.” To my surprise, they were in the midst of hosting a fashion show. Of course this delighted me completely and quickly found a spot to sit. Initially, the nausea, heat and hot flashes from the small radiation doses I had received were extremely distracting. But as my husband always says “where there is a ‘Bebe’ (one of my many nicknames) there is a way.”  Surely I was not going to miss this fashion show and special prices event which I had stumbled into fortuitously just because I had some side effects to the treatment and was stiffer than usual.  So for a while I simply sat there quietly enjoying the ambience wishing I could feel better so I would not be sick in the middle of the floor. I stood once again and made my way to the table of delectable goodies to grab some cold water to take more pills when one of the attendants asked me how I was liking show. Trying to be polite and making small conversation so I could return to my seat, I asked how the models were chosen? she then proceeded to ask me if I would be interested in modeling for them at their next event.

Seems like suddenly I was experiencing another ‘Kamehameha’ moment all over. When we were in Hawaii over spring break while doing our usual touring, I began to experience severe discomfort which escalated to more intense pain in my back as we were walking. but suddenly upon reaching the site where King Kamehameha statue is located in Honolulu  because it is the headquarters for the T.V. show Hawaii- five- o, I became so enthralled that my pain and all discomfort dissipated completely- forever known in my family as the ‘Kamehameha effect.

Image result for king kamehameha statue in honoluluT

Having regained some energy, when the national sales manager Pam approached me about what I liked about their products and fall line, I seized the opportunity to discuss possible partnership to do Parkinson’s awareness just like they do breast cancer awareness. After discussing my role in advocacy, my platform on women’s issues in PD and explaining my love for fashion and need for women with PD to feel empowered over their disease, she was completely on board. although, they could not endorse PD as they do breast cancer awareness, she was willing to take back to headquarters and in meantime offered to partner in the winter for a charitable event with their red winter wardrobe line which could involve several stores in the Houston area. Although, nothing is set in stone as of yet, the possibility of this is taking place is terribly exciting, more importantly the seed was planted. Like all fruit trees  even though they must be watered and cared for, a fertile soil is essential for it to take root and grow. Lets hope this new idea takes and leads to greater awareness in women (gender) issues within the Parkinson’s community.

Furthermore, I was ecstatic about the possibility that I mentioned it to a good friend of mine who happens to be a drug rep for Azilect and she took was excited by this that she said she would talk to her superiors.

After spending a week in my old stomping ground (Houston Medical Center ) and seeing patient after patient with PD many of whom were young women- the time to take action is now and what better way to bring women of diverse backgrounds together and inform on PD then through a fashion show. After all, as one of the world’s best fashion designers who happens to be a Hispanic woman like myself  – Carolina Herrera, once quipped : “the impossible does not truly exist for (a PD) woman only time to achieve it.”

Together we are strong

Together we can #end PD

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all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Finding Inspiration All Around Us: by Maria De Leon

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With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” Eleanor Roosevelt  

 We are all planned, planted and pruned for a purpose by God.

The last month, as all of you who have been following my blogs have discovered,  I had a small set back which has led to some decompensation due to having PD as a chronic underlying illness. This is not entirely uncommon especially for those of us who are as complex as I am. But, as  bad as I have felt most of you know that I am not one to give up or just sit around ….although I must admit I have been sleeping a lot more than usual. Nevertheless, I am determined to get back to my base line and able to continue traveling and speaking so besides having a ton of doctors appointments which have required someone else to drive me in one or two occasions, I have resumed water therapy.

We have a new instructor who is simply wonderful and understands well the complexity of the body especially for those of us who have neurological illnesses like Parkinson’s disease and incorporates techniques of tai-chi, yoga, and cardio all in water settings. while doing these exercises I have discovered two things. one, that I am weaker than I thought ant two that even though I feel great while doing these exercises afterwards I feel completely wasted due to severe nausea and vertigo it triggers. However, within this same setting I have encountered several of my patients who I was not only delighted to see but also glad to see they were engaging in therapy.

One particular patient has completely inspired me to continue despite the ill effects it has produced. because I know this too shall pass as I always say but recently I heard someone say that it would pass like a kidney stone. That is exactly how I feel, slow and at times down right excruciating. Yet, my discomfort no matter how painful is nothing comparable to what some of you have endured and what some of my patients have suffered. particularly, this courageous lady who has a most severe neurological disease which has now left her nearly paraplegic with severe upper extremity tremors. But having this illness has not stopped her one bit. You will see her around town frequently in her motorized wheelchair doing for herself and others. Similarly, she is there in the pool without fail trying her best to follow the instructor. Last session she nearly drowned a couple of times. somehow I doubt that this minor things in her mind will keep her from coming back. Knowing that she has endured  for a lot longer than I have and continuous to fight daily has given me the courage to persevere and deeply admire her inner fortitude. so, when Wednesday comes I will take some Zofran prior to my exercise therapy and I will be there working at getting myself well once again and encouraging her to continue while keeping a closer eye on her so no more incidents of near drowning occur like having life guards near by and having her wear a life vest.

So you see, all you have to do is look around and you are apt to find some inspiration in your life . No matter how bad we think we might be or have it there is always a reason to go on fighting. it may take a bit longer but I know I will be among you chatting and visiting once more very soon; because in the end we are always worth MORE than we feel and there are no strongholds greater than God.

Image By Andre Kohn

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all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Looking for the Lovely in Life: by Maria De Leon

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Suffering creates patience and patience builds character and character builds hope.”

Romans 5:3-5

 

It is easier to find things to be happy about when things are looking up and everything is going our way. However, when we are faced with a chronic illness, especially as our strenght diminishes looking and finding lovely things around us, which reminds us of brighter days and better tomorrow’s, is not always an easy feat.

I love the word lovely…it means beauty beyond compare. Something that is worth loving and fighting for. In the Bible Queen Esther was described as lovely. this is the same word I would use to describe the love of my life- simply lovely!

Lately, as I have once more been confronted with declining health, I started thinking about this word which unfortunately is not use very much in our society. the power of this word led me to think about the loveliness of God in my life through the years. Now more than ever, I wish to again hold on to that loveliness and beauty  as I find myself being torn yet again about knowing what needs to be done from a doctor’s perspective  while being terribly unhappy as a ‘impatient’ patient that needs to submit herself once more to the medical scrutiny and becoming a test subject to determine my full health issues and get back on track.

As I gear up for an extensive week of testing which involves, poking, prodding and a bit of educated guessing I really have to focus on the lovely things in my life to get me through this rough patch where I may become worse before I am better; or discover another bad problem which I am not ready to accept or deal with just yet. All the while trying to maintain my composure, hope, faith, and a daily routine especially as the new school year is about to commence with all of its challenges and demands.

When we are down and troubled we as humans sometimes just want to quit and give up . But this is the time when we need to persevere the most.

How do we persevere in the midst of trials and hardships?

We do so by finding the lovely in our lives. Looking for lovely is akin to remembering someone we love deeply and is no longer present or near by.

I am sure you are all aware of what I am referring to. when you love someone wholeheartedly, everything reminds you of that person.

Similarly, when you are down and trying to hold on conjure up those images of people and places which brought great joy and comfort. Think about all the situations in the past which seemed bleak  yet; you were able to overcome through perseverance. Look around at the beauty of a sunset, or the colors of the changing seasons, or the calmness of a wintery scene. All of them are beautiful in their own unique way and serve a purpose.

Appreciate the changes that are inevitable as the seasons. Look forward to new discoveries, new beginnings, times of rest and pruning as we welcome the unexpected changes and surprises. Me suddenly having a mini stroke and pulmonary embolism certainly was out of the blue and unforeseen but  I am learning to embraced it as a way to enhance my patience, since this has always been one of my worst traits. As the above verse came to mind, I guess in order to achieve patience one must suffer. I got a disease that makes me slow in more ways than one. But, patience is not the end goal rather than living a life full of loveliness and hope as my character is further enhanced and stripped of things that make me less than lovely and keep me from my work of helping others.  So as I undergo further testing and evaluation, I will meet friends that remind me of beautiful things, I will cherish the love of the man I love, talk more with God and appreciate His goodness in my life even as I write this. Then use what I learn to take the next step in my journey in life with Parkinson’s disease.

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all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

(inspired by Bible study of same name )

Como ser una Mujer que no se Rinde Frente a la Enfermedad del Parkinson: Por Maria De Leon

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“He peleado la buena batalla, he llegado a la meta- he mantenido la fe.” 2 Timoteo 4:7

 

Siento como que he estado alejados de ustedes mis estimadas amigas por largo tiempo. Aún más por los estándares de hoy en día impuesta por la sociedad y las redes sociales que nos lleva a querer todo de inmediato sin tardanza ni retraso. Así es que les admito que tal vez estado fuera y lejos de ustedes más tiempo de lo que creía.

Pero a veces para continuar sirviendo y siendo de beneficio para otros necesitamos tiempo para restablecer nuestras almas agotadas.

Precisamente esto es lo que he estado haciendo las últimas semanas del mes. Para poder ser mejor persona, escritora, mentor, y orador. Además tenía que tomar tiempo para celebrar un año más de vida que Dios me concedió, pues hace una década me dijeron que solo me quedaban 6 meses. Aunque ya no es tanto celebrar el número exacto de anos sino que estamos vivos y podemos seguir luchando y disfrutando de las riquezas del Todopoderoso.

Este año ha sido increíble permitiéndome viajar a varias comunidades donde habitan personas con párkinson para alentarlos y motivarlos a seguir luchando. Durante las cuales he tenido el placer y orgullo de conocer mujeres valientes y fuertes de espíritu que viven y luchan del diario con esta enfermedad.

Todas ustedes son mi inspiración – lo que me motiva a seguir a delante- so lo tengo que recordar a mujeres como mi amiga Nan Little que a pesar de tener párkinson pudo escalar la montaña del Kilimanjaro hasta la cima.

Lo que he aprendido a través de mi jornada en esta vida especialmente en los últimos años desde que me diagnosticaron a mí la enfermedad, es que las mujeres fuertes nunca se rinden frente al fracaso o la tormenta, ni se olvidan de sí mismas y mucho menos de los demás.

Mi espíritu guerrero viene por medio de mi fe la cual esta contantemente siendo probada y les juro que no es perfecta y muchas veces fracaso y hay días que es necesario empezar de vuelta varias veces para poder seguir costa arriba.

He aprendido 5 lecciones importantes que toda mujer que no se da por vencida jamás tiene que aprender. Esto lo aprendí de un estudio bíblico sobre el libro de Ruth.

Ruth era una mujer que había perdido todo su marido, su familia, su hogar, hasta su fe (por un breve tiempo), pero nunca perdió la esperanza. ¿Cuantas de nosotras nos hemos encontrado en la misma situación? Estoy segura que alguna de ustedes como yo se sintieron solas, abandonadas y quebrantadas.

¿Qué es lo que entonces debemos de hacer para continuar la batalla y perseverar?

Especialmente cuando las fuerzas se nos agotan y quisiéramos quedarnos para siempre metidos bajo las sabanas y no enfrentar al mundo nunca más o simplemente no SENTIMOS las ganas de luchar un minuto más.

  1. Tenemos que aceptar nuestra presente circunstancias. Nadie disfruta una vida difícil, lección dura o tener párkinson. Pero a veces es preciso tener estas lecciones o dificultades para reforzar nuestro carácter y sacar lo malo. Yo por mi parte aunque no le deseo a nadie esta enfermedad ha sido una bendición pues me ayudado a ser mejor, tener más gratitud y vivir con mayor dicha que anteriormente.
  2. Necesitamos aprender disciplina y continuar aunque no tengamos o sintamos ganas de hacerlo. Hoy en día damos demasiada importancia a los sentimientos- como nos sentimos, que sentimos… pero a veces los sentimientos pueden ser engañosos y nos pueden paralizar. Tenemos que ser disciplinadas en nuestras vidas. Por ejemplo cuando estudiaba medicina aunque no me gustara el horario, el clima, las clases tenía que estar allí. A veces tenía que atravesar todo el centro de filadelfia a las 3 de la mañana para poder llegar a tiempo y pasar por las montañas altas de hielo congeladas en las esquinas bloqueando la pasada.
  3. Debemos tener generosidad emocional hacia los demás. Es fácil dar lo que nos sobra o tenemos de más, al igual que hacer donaciones y escribir un cheque. Pero es mucho más difícil dar algo que no tenemos y aún más cuando lo que nos piden es algo que nosotros también necesitamos. Me recuerdo un día como los que a veces tenemos en lo cual todo es trabajo y dificultad, donde no podemos ni vestirnos ni toleramos las medicinas y todo se nos cae de las manos dándonos más trabajo. Pues así había empezado y no podía salir de casa por lo mal que me sentía pero estaba en un grupo de estudio bíblico de mujeres y volví a llegar tarde. Ya iba molesta y frustrada conmigo misma y con la enfermedad pero al entrar al fin me relaje un poco pero no necesitaba un sermón amonestándome acerca de mi tardanza. Pero una dama ya de edad de repente me dio la sorpresa al reprender me con agresividad por llegar tarde y me recordó que si ella con su edad podía llagar yo también debiese de hacer lo mismo. Claro, esto no me callo nada bien y en ese instante quería descargarle toda mis frustraciones. Pero calle. Le pregunte en seguida si se sentía bien pues era fura de carácter que estuviera tan molesta. Al instante soltó el llanto pues había sido diagnosticada con cáncer. En ese momento todo mi enojo se derritió y me dedique a consolarla a pesar de que solo quería ir me a la casa y seguir vomitando. Lo interesante es que al transcurrir la mañana entre más le dedicaba tiempo a ella mis malestares y achaques se volvieron insignificantes. Al fin de todo yo me sentí mucho mejor el resto del día. La mejor manera de suplir nuestras necesidades emocionales es dando a otros lo que nos hace falta. Si amor. ¡Da amor!
  4. Estar siempre con las manos abiertas. Cuando uno está accesible hacia otros, las personas se acercan con más facilidad y frecuencia para ayudar y apoyar. No podemos aconsejar a otros si no se nos pueden arrimar o si siempre estamos molestos y amargados. Recuerda que la vida siempre se va a empeorar/complicar antes de mejorar
  5. Finalmente, sigamos adelante en Fe aun cuando es imposible ver la luz al final del túnel. Muchas personas se han dado por vencidas ya para cruzar la meta. No sé por qué pero nosotras las mujeres tenemos esa tendencia a darnos por vencidas más fáciles y antes de tiempo tal vez porque como yo son impacientes cuando lo que esperamos no se nos da de inmediato. Yo tengo casi treinta años esperando un sueño y seguiré esperando hasta que sea realidad. La vida es como escalar esas montañas peligrosas y resbalosas pero para poder vencer y llegar a la cima se necesita escalar con cuidado un pie adelante del otro sin mirar atrás. No quiero que nos volvamos como la mujer que intento cruzar el canal Ingles y duro días y atravesó por muchas dificultades y a la hora de lograr el propósito fallo por que la neblina oscureció su visión estando la meta a solo unos cuantos pies más.

 

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all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

A Decade of Methamorphosis: by Maria De Leon

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It has been nearly ten years since my life changed drastically – which reminds me of the saying” be careful what you wish for.” It was about the last time that I  remember feeling pure exuberant joy- as if your heart were going to leap out of your chest and take flight.

I said that I wished I could get a new start in life and reinvent myself in my forties..well my wish came true…and I Never been happier. But the journey has not been without struggles, without tears, frustration, depression, and utter rage at other times the battle seemed all uphill. Along the way, I also suffered many personal losses that nearly toppled me over but thank goodness for the small victories and the BIG overwhelming grace of my Heavenly father who has seen fit to see me through till today.

Yesterday, for the first time again I felt a spark of joy building within me and a faint leap of my heart took place within my chest; and all is right with the world. Don’t get me wrong, there is till much to overcome and much to learn about this illness and myself. Yet, I remain hopeful that together we will find more and more therapies, treatments to allow our loved ones suffering from this cruel disease to feel hope and joy once more.

I simply love the blue morpho butterfly- maybe because its beginnings are ordinary like all other butterflies yet it grows to be one of the largest most beautiful butterflies in the world captivating millions of people worldwide with its iridescent beauty. This always fascinated me especially now as I live with a chronic illness which tends to slow me down. I often think about the  30 million insects that exist  around the world composed by 600,000 of species of  species or so yet few insects can draw as much attention and affection in others towards this animal for its uniqueness. having Parkinson’s makes me a bit slow and clumsy just like this butterfly whose flight is one marked by slowness and punctuations due to the incredible span of its wings which is too heavy for its body yet its ability in flight is one which few other predators can master making the blue butterfly difficult to catch. the top wings are not blue colored rather have scales which allow light to reflect off this mirror like surface making it seem blue while its under side which is brown makes the butterflies appear as if the disappear through space as the fly giving them a mystical quality.

They excel gracefully above their limitations just as many Parkinson’s individuals do fooling people in thinking we are slow and dull meanwhile when our inner beauty is expose it is unlike any other. We, too, defy the laws of nature doing and performing above and beyond what our natural capabilities would have us do. Their life is short lived as some of our is due to our illness but that does not diminish in any way the joy others feel to be around us and us with them. Nor is our joy diminished as we capture a glimpse of the natural beauty of this fabulous creature. The world is much more colorful due to their existence just as the world is much better for our transformations after living with PD. This is  because many  like myself have been metamorphed into something much more beautiful than we were before our disease when we were self-righteous, inpatient, living for the moment, without faith, much joy, peace nor self- control, focused on the wrong priorities and truly miserable and unhappy within.

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all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

In Search of the Right Pair of Shoes: By Maria De Leon

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Those of you who have been following my blogs for a while and have read my “Parkinson’s Diva,” book will know how much I love a good pair of shoes. Shoes are an extension of ourselves; they speak of our style and who we are without having to utter a single word. plus just as a well tailored outfit makes a woman so do a beautiful well fitted pair of shoes can make a woman feel special, elegant, and capable of conquering the world even if she does not much wealth.  thus, I am always in search of the right pair of shoes that will empower me for whatever situation I am facing at the moment that will complement my attitude style and of course my ever present red lipstick.

Shoes have always been a passion of mine with so many styles and colors to choose from I could go crazy. However, when I began experiencing lower limb dystonia and the pain became more intractable, the first thing I did was rid my closet of all my favorite shoes which I believed were contributing to my pain. I was forced to wear orthopedic shoes which made me feel so self conscious and worst these did not help alleviate my pain.  I missed wearing my stylish shoes and especially my heels which I was accustomed to wearing since I was a teenager. Then came the disequilibrium followed by frequent falling which led to even more trouble after I herniated a lumbar disc. there was no way I could wear my 3 inch stiletto heels any longer. But I was determine that Parkinson’s was not going to dictate how I dressed or what I wore on my feet which made me feel uniquely feminine just the same. So I started my long search for ‘cute,’  comfortable yet ‘stylish’ shoes. Although, over the years I have acquired a new collection of  attractive shoes which have also provided me with the support I needed, I always felt that the range of styles had been dramatically decreased just because I had certain limitations. this meant sacrificing some of the color I love as well as variety of style.

Now, as I have begun to expand my horizons once more I felt I needed something more akin to my style. so for weeks I have been in search of the perfect pair of shoes which could accompany me in all my travels as I lecture around the country. It is always hard to find something elegant yet with a simplistic attractiveness that would give me the confidence required to do my job while maintaining my equilibrium and not causing pain.

After much probing through various sites, I hit the jack pot! I was simply ecstatic. I had finally found beautiful, colorful comfortable shoes that were not too high less than 2 inches most in wedges, kitten keels, sling backs, peep toe, and flats. I was in heaven. only problem is that they are pricy and no longer having a doctor’s salary these are beyond my budget. http://www.beautiFeel.com Even the name of the company was perfect and seemed to suit me. However, I quickly formulated a plan, with the assistance of my fashionista friend in crime who is equally gaga for beautiful shoes. I would invest in THE ONE Perfect pair that would accompany in all my travails. Meanwhile,  I am dreaming of a wedge, sling back peep toe shoe with black and white stripes similar to Kate Spade designer shoes with a small red flower on top ..

A Parkinson’s diva can dream as it is the shoes that allow a woman to conquer the world.. and some day I will again despite this Parkinson’s disease!

Meantime I have redecorated my guest bathroom with paintings of stiletto heels and powerful messages that inspire me to keep going in this race.

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all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD

Honor your body: by Maria De Leon

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Coming to terms with the feelings and emotions brought on by the new changes in your body is a huge part of living with a chronic illness like Parkinson’s. Especially for us women who may already have issues about our bodies before the diagnosis occurred. Therefore, in keeping with the fact that we are all Divas and we recently celebrated International Women’s Day –  I want all of us to be kind to ourselves. We are beautiful!

When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, my body image was the furthest concern from my mind. All I wanted to know was which medication I was going to take first and how fast would I be able to return to normalcy never expecting that my body image would change in more ways than one ….most of which were unexpected.

Of course neither did I count on getting recurrent thyroid cancer soon after my Parkinson’s diagnosis which brought on a new set of concerns and life changes along with a whole slew of side effects related to both the radiation and the new PD medications.

I was never considered thin but I was shapely in a good way, so I was told, but suddenly my weight ballooned to over 200lbs due to lack of thyroid hormone coupled with inactivity brought on a severe and total body wash out. For nearly a year, I slept almost 24 hours a day, I could hardly dress myself much less drive or care for anyone else …even sitting up to watch a movie drained me completely. Of course at that time, I was just trying my best to survive and live my life as best I could…far from my mind were the thoughts of diet, calorie intake, or weight concerns.

I was more concerned about my hair loss…although, realistically no one other than me was worried about eventually becoming bald since I have been blessed with an enormous amount of hair. Yet, it was very distressing to see hand fulls of hair on my pillow each time I awoke and see hand fills more fall as I tried to wash my hair – poorly I might add due to both Parkinson’s and thyroid disease. I was so weak I could not even hold my head up ..the little I did walk was always with my head down..which was interesting to notice everyone’s shoes. On a rare occasion, I ventured out to the store with my friend, as I was pushing the cart rather holding on to dear life I noticed a beautiful pair of Royal blue high heels pass on by and I so wanted to know who was the woman wearing such exquisite pair of shoes to a grocery store. I concentrated all of my efforts to get a glimpse of the woman by cocking my head forward and looking up…when I realized it was an older woman ..probably 70 years old, a tear trickled down my cheek – because here I was in the prime of my life and I could not even do basic self grooming much less wear a beautiful pair of shoes (my favorite thing to do).

Ambulating slowly, changes in vision, stiffness, tremors, balance problems are all readily acknowledge ways in which Parkinson’s affects a person living with PD but the aesthetics aspects are not high on the list like changes in skin, hair, and of course weight issues.

Although, initially all my weight problems or at least the majority were related to my thyroid over the years my weight has gone up and down due to Parkinson’s medications which has been rather frustrating. Then of course are all the tons of steroids that have been pumped into me for asthma and recurrent back pain.

Even though some people can experience weight loss, most of us women have just the opposite effect. this is because the medications tend to cause bloating, water retention and increase our  cravings for sweets (this is all Parkinson’s patients), compounded by the fact that our bellies protrude more due to age, possible hysterectomies and slow gi motility and we are fighting an uphill battle especially when our activity decreases due to physical manifestations of the disease. plus, although it has not been well studied but i have seen it time and time again an increase in weight in women who have had DBS surgery. so all these things together may cause us undue stress when we no longer can fit into our favorite dress. Yet, our doctors simply state, “you must lose weight!” without really understanding all that is entailed.

But, when your kids start noticing that you where a lot of ‘stretchy pants’ – the message is clear. What to do next?

So you start with  accepting your body and learn to appreciate it and enjoy it. Never give into self pity or despair. Someone once said that ‘body acceptance is a journey not a destination.

Begin by loving yourself and start by making small changes- change the things you can like eating healthier, exercising more, seeking a nutritionist advice,  joining a support group. However, we must also remember that one of the biggest contributors to weight increase is poor sleep. As a PD patient we all know how hard it is to sleep sometimes. all last year i took advantage of this to stay up all night writing but although I seemingly accomplished a lot I only manage to add insult to injury when it came down to my health and weight issues.make sure that if you are having sleep issues you speak to your doctor and start by having a routine – no t.v. in bedroom, keep room dark and cool and no electronics before bed time; of course daily exercise in the am helps with this as well.

Acknowledge how you feel – its not vanity to want to look good but is more important to be HEALTHY – a heavier person can be healthier than a less heavy one so don’t get hung up on the actual number on the scale. don’t hold yourself up to an unrealistic standard which can only be harmful- talk to a caring and knowledgeable physician or medical professional. Always focus on the POSITIVES!!!

I am enjoying my life and doing what I can to minimize any further weight increase while working once again on losing unwanted pounds -. getting plenty of rest…when my body calls for it and sleeping at least 8 hours a night. Proud to say, I can now parade around in my own beautiful pair of blue high heels even if it’s just for a short period of time.

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all rights reserved by Maria De Leon MD