“There is no great loss without some small gain.” Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ok so it’s not exactly the prairie but I do like to think of it in the middle of nowhere. I am after all surround d by large pine trees and the wild fauna seems to enjoy the flora around my house attracting many a doe to give birth on my front lawn. Although, I have grown to love my community and appreciate its charms can’t take the city of this city girl. What then does an out of work night owl who has chronic insomnia thanks to PD do for entertainment in the middle of the night? Well there is always Walmart… but not really my thing so besides reading, watching a zillion movies, and preparing for my new women’s class, or working on two books (which I am attempting to finish and publish this year),there is something more practical. One exercise by dancing which unfortunately only contributes to the insomnia not recommended. But, as many of you who live with PD and other chronic diseases will attest that mornings are just extremely disorganized, slow, and rough for all in the family. You wake up stiff and staggering then you take your medications and either don’t work as always because of severe constipation or bad side effects like nausea, migraine, dizziness so you lounge around for a few minutes but before you know it it’s noon and your husband is home starving and the meal you have been planning for three days ….
“I guess you are not cooking! Should I just put away that chicken and make dinner tonight?
I sigh, as he walks away to make himself a sandwich.
Finally, around 3:30 p.m., I begin to feel like myself having wasted half the day away I drag myself to shower and wash away the “illness” if only it was possible. He returns having gone walking around the stadium which I could not join today due to being dizzy and nauseous, and with my daughter; but instead of letting me cook dinner he jumps in and takes over so I begrudgingly oblige. (He will be back to work in a couple of days and I will have no recourse but to manage best I can).
Soon it will be time for him to retire to the bedroom and I will have complete run of the house.
Fortunately, this is the time I can spend with my daughter who happens to be a teenager and is also a night owl. I help with homework, Spanish particularly, and we laugh because my brain is still slow and gets tripped easily at times then as always a customary snack before bedtime.
Its midnight now, finally house quiet and I can think clearly. I am full of energy and feeling great. I decide to make the mole I have been trying to prepare for the last 3 days so when I don’t feel well tomorrow food will actually be ready and on time for my husband to eat at noon. But, I am so weak, shaky and dystonic I am having trouble opening the jar of mole. I laugh out loud at the new label on the lid which reads “new and improved easier to open lid” but nothing has really changed looks exactly the same it has looked for half a century (and I chuckle a my fellow countrymen then I get a bit sad when I think what if I can buy this product anymore with new changes in government?) I don’t want to think about it anymore tonight…
I am making one of my favorite dishes. If only I could find a way to open the darn jar. As I search every cabinet and beat and pound on the jar I hoping it won’t shatter since made of glass, I feel like the cat in the cartoon where he is left alone with cabinets full of tuna cans but no can opener!
Should I call mom at this hour and ask for advice? She too is a night owl. I do. Of course she is awake. We talk for a while then she asks what I am up to and laughs wholeheartedly at my situation but gives me a solution. At last I can finish preparing my mole! I am tempted to eat some when done an hour 1/2 later, but I restrain myself. I need to go to bed it’s close to 2 a.m. Maybe a glass of wine will do the trick while I wait for food to cool enough to refrigerate. Surprise, surprise, I can’t open wine bottle either.
C’est la vie! Although, I am not really sleepy I drag myself to bed “for tomorrow is another day” or maybe later today and wait for sleep to come and resume the chaos which is my life with PD.
all rights reserved – Maria De Leon MD