“At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.”- unknown
Do you guys remember the Enjoli perfume commercial? I was always inspired by that commercial because I thought I could do everything- just like her “I could bring home the bacon fry it up in the pan – work till five o’clock and never let my (husband) forget he was a man!”
Where do we get these silly ideas that we could be all things to everyone and do everything well no less? At least before PD, I had a chance of making it work -cooking, cleaning, taking care of family, home, husband and maintain a full job but now as my illness advances I find it increasingly difficult to do one of these tasks well before being completely worn out!
Let’s face it being a kitchen goddess was never my forte- except for a brief moment in time after my PD struck and I was stuck at home I began experimenting with food and dishes and suddenly my family was enjoying my savory food for the first time which made me believe I could do this forever…what was I thinking?
I am no Maria Croker …I discovered this recently as I have begun to have difficulty even with minor things like washing dishes. The once unused dishwasher, which was installed in my kitchen for sole purpose of increasing value of our home, should we need to sell it, has suddenly become extremely appealing. although, I completely recent the fact that I have to rely on a machine to make my dishes sparkle as I was once able to do on my own. But now even after washing dishes three times I find much to my chagrin that they are not entirely clean which only makes me want to scream.
I was consoled by the fact that at least I could for my family that is until I had my nephew and mother over for the summer and they prepared such exquisite gourmet foods that after they left, my first meal of the season was met with less than a stellar review…my husband was gagging and my daughter’s only words were when is my cousin coming back? Needless to say my ‘chewy meat with peas’ is not something we will be having again!
So I have decided to share my kitchen and kitchen goddess title with whom ever is willing to cook …and is not stressed by the process as much as I am. I will be happy to claim the title of Diva and cook only on special occasions when I am feeling well and I can pour all the love into the food! For I have discovered that in order to be a great chef you must have passion and love for the art of cooking otherwise the meal will simply not taste good..
But no matter who the cook in the house is, I like for my daughter’s memories to always include an image of family around the kitchen, a simmering pot on the stove and me. Kitchen goddess or not – even in the midst of PD my kitchen will always be the heart and meeting place of our home where great stories are told, food is shared, bonds are forged, laughter and dancing takes place, and lasting memories are made.