“Self care is not self indulgence. Self care is self respect and an act of survival.” Lorde
I am not sure about you ladies, but as of late I have been wobbling on an emotional precipice between the recent negative medical news of my husband, my daughter going away to college (perhaps far from home in a world where there appears to be increased chaos at each turn), my mother’s declining cognitive status, and my own current relentless wave of medical trials and tribulations. Sometimes as my dad would often say, “too much is too much.”
My natural inclination is to push forward on all fronts no matter how I feel. As a physician and a mother, I am used to taking charge during a crisis and stepping up as the caregiver placing my own needs at the bottom of the list. However, throughout my years of living with PD, I have discovered that not prioritizing myself however only leads to a slippery slope. My bottled up frustrations, stress, and malaise have a tendency to creep up to the surface like an erupting volcano seeping through every pore of my being (Curse you Parkinson’s disease, migraines and whatever other medical problem I have) causing me to become the true epitome of a fiery dragon. Just like a volcano can no more contain its pressure so do our feelings must find a way out – unfortunately when they do they cannot only be explosive but extremely lethal causing devastation in its wake, as we have seen in the news last few days with the eruption of Kilauea.
One of the things I always talk about in managing this chronic and any chronic illness is self-care and prioritizing once self. Easier said than done especially when you got all the burners on.
So, in the midst of all these new challenges, I have had to force myself to find time for me to heal in order to continue caring for all those who depend on me and get to the root of my ailments.
Of course, this is much more difficult when you look and feel like you are ten months pregnant carrying twins! Yes, I got a partial small bowel obstruction-yikes! How did this happen? I was doing so well? For starters traveling lots, not keeping schedule on meals, along with increase stress did not help and possibly aided in my current predicament.
First order of business besides getting rid of relentless nausea and vomiting and prevent dehydration while reliving obstruction was to disconnect from the world- hence my lack of presence in social media as of late. I have also committed myself to spending more time with my daughter talking…this time is priceless.
Reminding myself and my family that frivolous time spent on one self like reading a favorite book, doing art, laughing with a friend, watching a favorite movie, listening to great music, or simply resting actually does more for the healing process than medications at times.
I have caught up on sleep. Allowing myself to sleep as much as my body needed to recover. I am doing better but not 100% back to ‘normal’ yet. Even in my “pregnant” state, I have continued my breathing treatments and meditation. These have helped me tremendously in calming my pain, anxiety and discomfort of having a huge belly.
I even had a manicure just to feel better- bright pink! Plus, even though I have been feeling like crap for the last 3 weeks, I found that doing some talks over the web helped my mood and my overall predisposition. Bringing smiles to others always brings back positive vibes into our souls.
Remember, that if we want to be ambassadors for those who have a chronic illness like PD and bring positive changes, we must first be good to ourselves and be happy behind the scenes when just you and no one else is watching. Do the things I have recommended often, like take time for yourself every day, make time for family and loved ones, do things that make you happy, pamper yourself (there are many ways of doing this without going broke). If you feel that the world is spinning out of control, go ahead and inject some kindness back into it.
Love to hear your own self-care strategies in dealing with chronic illness.
all rights reserved by Maria De Leon