However bad life May seem There is always something you can do ( while)…There is life there is hope

After a crazy year where everything that could go wrong went wrong, I know that all of you are looking forward to a fresh start just as I am. On the first of the year, I felt compelled to sing “so long farewell…” from my favorite movie The Sound of Music.

As I watched it snow on Sunday, I welcomed the calm and beauty it brought taking away all the anxieties fears and worries of the past year.

I thought about the events of last year …

COVID-19 came and my daughter came home and has remained with me which was a plus. Then I got the virus was sick for two months, nearly lost my father-in-law, lost many Parkinson’s friends then nearly lost my husband as well as the year drew near to the end.

First came utter denial could this really be happening? Were we living another world pandemic like the one seen in 1912 with Spanish Flu?

Followed by swearing screaming and crying  as I realized that this would leave permanent scars both physical and mental. From the beginning, I worried that this could unleash another parkinsonism wave as the one seen 100 years ago. Cried more when my fears came true.

With persistent disease and talk about flattening the curve, I sank more into isolation. Thank goodness for YouTube and Netflix. To ease the boredom between all the hospital visits, I went on binging spree – but it was not all a waste because I learned Turkish.

Instead of bargaining I took to blogging about the pandemic until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of same topics discussed ad nauseam.

Days without cooking due to shear exhaustion and apathy relying on door dash.

Shopping for everything under the sun online to be delivered at my doorstep or for pick up without having to set foot in a store.

Pleading to God for mercy and relief from pandemic Finally, after a couple of months of feeling no motivation (increased apathy) acceptance came.  Seed of hope began to take root deep within and interest in life has begun to flourish. After my coping strategies were all put to the test, I found new courage to face a new year in which the pages of many chapters remain to be written. Although some of the chapters in our past have been dark, they have taught me resilience, gratitude for small and big things, as well as well as reminded me that my faith is bigger than my fear because God is with me. Because of this I have courage to face the challenges ahead to fear less and allow my inner voice (which sometimes is barely audible in the midst of chaos) to lead me forward and allow me to persevere and say ‘yes you can !’

I hope we can say goodbye to wearing masks and talking to friends thru plexiglass. I want to be able to travel again and roam free and visit friends and loved ones without fear of contracting the virus while I hug them for a long time. I want to look upon the beautiful smile of my friends once more. And I want to share my smile (of course accentuated by my red lipstick!) with others.

To all my friends much love, courage, strength and determination to keep being the PD warriors that you are and a very blessed 2021!

@2021

all rights reserved by Maria De Leon