“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you…” 2 Chronicles 20:12
When was the last time you heard another mom say: ‘This mom thing is a breeze, I feel no pressure what so ever?
Never! Right? Whether you are a seasoned mom or a new mom, there are always challenges to be met. Just when you think you got it all figured out some new unexpected situation pops out of nowhere and puts your patience, and skills to the test. Moms are under so much pressure to be a “good mom” and be “enough” for our kids that it can feel like a full time job. Now throw in parenting while juggling living with a chronic illness like Parkinson’s.
If you are like me most days you stumble out of bed reaching for your medicines through squinted burning eyes, (cause you just went to sleep less than 2 hours ago), feeling incredibly frustrated because not only are you stiff, slightly confused, off balance, and shaky; but now you have a mess all over the floor from trying to open the medicine bottles in a hurry!
Anyone else have days like this they would like to share? Or you may feel like a fiery breathing dragon when our kids are rushing us and demanding our full attention to help them get their day started when all you want to do is go back to sleep or be left alone. Of course our initial reaction might be a bit harsh –often being labeled as ‘irritable’ or ‘yell-y’ by our kids. We might feel the answer lies in a good exorcism from this PD demon that has taken over our lives without our consent. I have heard from other young women with PD say that they feel like a fiery lady or monster because they can’t stop being cranky, irritable, with a short fire fuse.
So, the pressure builds making us feel like we are not up to the task or that we might just implode at any given moment. After all there are meals to cook, diapers to change, college applications to complete, recitals to attend, appointments to keep, emails to check, schedules to coordinate, hugs to give and that’s just the easy stuff. Don’t get me started on the real tough stuff we got to live with making our brain’s and bodies do what we want them to do when we want to do it.
If this is you my dear friend, take a deep breath and realize that you are not alone. You my friend are more than enough just the way you are! We do not have to be perfect or have all the answers, we simply have to be present in the lives of your children and accept God’s grace for our lives. Our Goal is not to be perfect and have everything under control rather show our children that despite our weaknesses, flaws and ever changing illness. We are more than enough for our kids even on those days we feel the least lovely or lovable because ONLY God is big enough to bear the burdens inflicted by our illnesses that weigh upon us. After all the disease is not their fault and if you feel free to live your life to the fullest despite its limitations your kids will take a cue from you and learn to handle challenges head-on with a positive outlook.
So today, I want you to hug your children tell them you love them & breath in Grace.
All rights reserved By Maria De Leon MD