Happy new year to all my friends, family, and loved ones! I would like to thank all of you first of all for choosing to walk with me in this PD journey through life. Having wonderful friends such as you by my side is what life is all about. As we commence a brand new year full of possibilities in which every page is waiting to be written, I would like to leave you with a few thoughts to make your journey with Parkinson’s, or whatever chronic illness, or struggle you are facing in life a much richer and fuller experience. My learning after nearly a half of century of living can be summed up in five parts.
5 things I want us to keep in mind as we make our mark through the New Year.
- Stand still
- Have Faith
- Give back
These things I have observed to be the fundamental elements for a life worth living. Although a few skeptics along the road have question my positive attitude and optimism in life as well as my experience with Parkinson’s. A few people especially women have told me that I must have led such a ‘charmed’ and ‘happy’ life to be so full of hope and optimism. As I nearly chocked on the caramel I was chewing on, I thought “charming” and lucky was not a word I would have ever used to describe my life. For dear readers, I have dealt with my share of pain and disappointments and seen the ugly side of human nature yet I choose to believe that everyone has something good in them and everyone deserves a second chance.
First, I was born with a severe birth defect which according to the doctors I was NEVER going to walk so I spent the first year of my life in all kinds of casts and contraptions. Yet thanks to the love of my mom, grandfather and the grace of God, the right doctor was found to correct my problem. Ever since I started walking I have not stop and don’t intent this PD to stop me either!
I also have had multiple cancers on top of the early onset Parkinson’s diagnosis which was an irony in itself. I had a hard pregnancy making me unable to bear more than one child, yet the joy of being a mom of that one precious child has made up for all the pain. I lost several loved ones within a two year span in which the two most precious beings in my life were included. I tended to thousands of Parkinson’s patients through the years many of whom I watch die and have wept at their bed sides along with their families. I wept even harder at my dad’s bedside when he was suddenly taken ill with cancer.
Even though these are but a few of the struggles I have faced in my life, they serve witness to the fact that like you I too have had a life full of challenges of ups and downs. Sometimes life led me to dark unfamiliar places. I have struggled physically and emotionally with gut wrenching burdens which have stretched me to my limits and then pushed me further still. But, through it all I have learned that without these low valleys and dark places, I would not have found my strength, courage, and faith nor enjoyed the peaks and mountain tops as much. Each and every one of the experiences in my life has served to shape me into the woman I am today who is able to write to you and share her experiences with you to help guide your path with this chronic illness and give you hope and a ray of light for the dark days ahead.
As I recall the words of that one woman who sneered at me as she was perusing my book looking at me sideways exclaiming “what gives you the authority to write about PD?” Simply put: MY ENTIRE LIFE JOURNEY with PD! So I am extremely glad I had the courage, thanks to some of those people who have gone from my life too soon, to write “Parkinson’s Diva ” Perhaps someone will find laughter and love once more in their life just as I have despite having and living with Parkinson’s disease. If only one person has felt better because of my book, I have achieved my goal. This lady unfortunately was only seeing in me the end product …a woman who has finally learned to accept herself just as she is flaws and all; who has learned patience thanks to PD, when you move like molasses you have no other choice!
Dear friends, I hope this year you work on being happy with yourself first before making anyone one else happy. This starts with being able to stand alone in solitude and fine tune your hearing to that small still voice inside of you, for mine has never let me down.
Learn to listen– I often quiet myself by first listening to my own breathing and heart beat until they are in sink and quiet. Take time to stand still at least once a day and replenish your thoughts and your energy, Then learn to listen to everything around you like the laughter of your kids, the rustle of the leaves, the whistle of the wind, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the silence after the snow has fallen. Particularly listen to other women. I have women friends from all walks of life and all ages because everyone has a story to tell that is powerful and unique and every one of these precious women has accomplished many feats most by the time they reach early adulthood. Make sure you absorb some of their goodness, soak in their wisdom for it is absolutely priceless. I had the absolute pleasure and privilege this past year of meeting and working with some of the most wonderful women both through the Christian women’s Corp & the Women & PD Initiative. Both had so much knowledge and wisdom to impart it was amazing.
Learn from these women, from your parents, your friends, and from anyone you come in contact with in your journey this year, for they too have a story and a lesson to share with you if you listen. Learn especially from those who love you and particularly from those who don’t. Learn to walk in someone else’s shoes as well as to see life through someone else’s eyes. Learn that in order to make a difference you must first take a chance.
Most things that were invented had to be thought up by someone who had to believe in his or her dreams even though no one else could see the same vision; plus think about it they had to have some kind of necessity, be in a low point in their life or be in the dark otherwise there would be no need to grow or change or invent anything. So with this comes Faith that things will work out for the best- that the darkness serves a purpose to hone our night vision. With faith comes hope for a better, happier tomorrow so don’t lose faith!
Finally you have to be willing to give back to others. Funny thing is that in order to grow and develop and actually enjoy life we must stop thinking about ourselves and actually think about others needs first. So this year I want you guys to renew your passions or find new passions, redefine your world, expand your horizons dream bigger dreams, have higher aspirations, broaden your visions, and stand up for something worth fighting for like helping those less fortune than you in your PD community.
Provide caregivers a helping hand, fight in behalf of the kids with PD mom’s, aid the moms living with PD. Go ahead and confront the things that scare you such as living with a chronic illness and embrace it to the fullest. Make a difference in someone’s life, you can do this by joining me in being part of Women & PD initiative as a mentor, teacher, counselor, and friend. If you follow these guidelines throughout the year, you will discover as I have that by getting involved and truly listening to others and yourself you will change your own life. You will also be replacing laughter for the many heartaches as I have done many of which nearly broke me. However, now I have joys and rainbows where storms once were punctuated by many friends smiling at me along the way.
This 2016, I admonish you all to leave your comfort zone and take a leap of faith by doing that which scares you…interestingly once upon a time I was terrified of public speaking until I was forced to give a commencement speech in front of 1000 plus individuals. Now I do public speaking for a living. Go ahead I challenge you to Join me in me in daring to be yourself and a true “diva” or “divo” (one that does extraordinary things with their natural talents) living a life with Parkinson’s disease worth living.