Thanksgiving in the midst of adversity: By Maria De Leon

Comments 13 Standard

“In all things give thanks…” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

As the years go by, I find that it is the small things in life that truly matter. It is these things that make a life worth living and worth remembering – so this thanksgiving season I like to express my gratitude for the small things that punctuate my life in the midst of my ongoing ever complex not one but two chronic illnesses. Having now been diagnosed with lupus as well!

This year has been a year of many important milestones- celebrating 20th anniversary, turning 50, getting the opportunity to be a ‘starlet’ for a week, reuniting with long lost friends, honored to give first all women with Parkinson’s conference in Indiana, had the honor to be part of an avant-garde weekend retreat for Parkinson’s patients and their caregivers in South Dakota with nearly a 100 in attendance, being part of a pilot program to help young women to grow spiritually, learn life skills, and be empowered in the midst of their circumstances in order to thrive as successful adults turning into tomorrow’s fearless mothers, wives, friends, professionals and leaders. Finally, I also had the privilege of having my ‘parkinsonsdiva’ blog be recognized twice as one of the BEST! In the PD community (This of course could not happen without all you wonderful people (women) who take time to read it and make it one of the best! thank you!)

I was touched by one of the most beautiful common experiences which took an unexpected twist for a memorable and meaningful events of my life just when I needed hope and encouragement the most.

We all know that most of our lives are punctuated by peaks and valleys and although we wish we could go from peak to peak there is still something beautiful and comforting in the valleys. The valleys in biblical times is where one was most certain to find God and healing could commence from inside out. But aside from finding salvation in the least likely of places, we also have signs that continue to inspire us and gives us hope in our daily walks. When my dad was terminally ill, I witnessed the most magnificent double rainbow as I was driving home full of tears on my way back from the hospital and upon seeing such spectacular view I felt at peace and knew everything was going to be okay.

Four years later, about the same time my dad started his downward decline I began to have serious medical issues which have been taking me away to some extent from you and the things I love. Yet, on my way back from a very long and arduous trip to the hospital and a slew of specialist as I dosed off while my mom drove, I saw the edge of a rainbow. I wondered out loud if anyone had ever seen the end of a rainbow- after all they are said to be full circles which I had privilege of seeing once before in the Las Vegas. Perhaps there instead of a pot of gold I could find a greater treasure like health once more.

Suddenly, I began to see one rainbow after another all sizes and brilliance and then we came to the end of a rainbow it merged right into the spot where our car was standing at the light but if you looked up it seem to sprout out of us from inside the car. I sat up and marveled at the phenomenon but in the next 40 minutes of our journey this occurrence took place at least 4 more times.-lifting my sadness, and strengthening my weakening resolve to keep on fighting for the people and the things I love most. Just to let me know that these signs from heaven were not mere coincidences that he still was in control of my live and my well-being and that my faith in God had been duly noted for once we arrived to a sunny home leaving rain behind- when I stepped out once more as the sun was beginning to set amidst a purplish sky there it was once more a splendid rainbow across the sky.
You may say, how can I give thanks living with PD? Or how can I find joy in my present circumstances? Believe me, I understand your trepidation. Is not easy to feat to face our fears but you can do it because you are not alone. We (especially me) are here to share the rainbows with you to help find your inner peace and conquer the valleys of loneliness, illness, frustration, and hopelessness. As I have learned to conquer my fears of living life with a progressive debilitating illness and face head on an uncertain future by believing in God you too can find harmony and give thanks in the midst of adversity.

Although, there have been many losses I have also experienced many great things this year when is all added up the pluses will definitely outweigh the negatives. I continue to be grateful for my health however failing it maybe at times, my family, friends and the whole Parkinson’s community who has invited me into their homes.
Thank you,
Parkinson’s Diva
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Copyright2018
All rights reserved by Maria De Leon MD

Rhapsody of a Diva: By Maria De Leon

Comments 4 Standard

“We are the champions of the world. We will keep on fighting till the end…” (Queen)

Over the last few weeks, as I have tried to make sense of my life in light of my seemingly endless medical problem list; I have had plenty of time for introspection as I lingered around the house in my pajamas watching movies when not in pain, nauseated, or having fever and chills. My favorite movie genre as of late are those based on real life. In my moments of feeling better and not having to see a doctor or get yet another test done to figure the conundrum that is my illness, it occurred to me that in life the most beautiful things usually come out of the darkest and most painful times our life’s.

Throughout history we are reminded time and time again that the things that inspire and endure the test of time are those that arise from the ashes of near annihilation.

I love the story of the thorn bird legend, although believed to be purely mythical, is the perfect embodiment of a notion that greatness can only be achieved by walking through fire or standing in the lion’s den. The Celtic legend, upon which the story is supposedly based on, says that there lives a “bird that sings more sweetly than any other on earth as he dies that even God in heaven stands still and smiles.” While dying he rises above the agony of his pain caused by being impaled on the sharpest thorn. Such examples of greatness can only emerge out of the fiery ashes. The outcome of such struggles of the soul, if we are courageous enough to stand and fight, typically bring forth redemption, self-love, understanding, and compassion which permeates throughout in the same fashion in which the light casts its warmth upon a dark cold room when the window is open to let sunshine in. A small light can illuminate even the darkest of rooms but a dark room can never overpower even the faintest of lights. So keep on fighting even if you feel like you don’t have the stamina to go on….
The greatest feats and gifts to mankind have been borne out of despair, hopelessness, uncertainty and loneliness.

Beethoven composed his 9th symphony “Ode to Joy” when he was totally deaf. Van Gogh painted “Starry Night” in the midst of a mental asylum cell, the apostle Paul wrote his most powerful letters while imprisoned and our salvation was bought at the ultimate price of pain and agony on a rugged cross.
What will my legacy be to this world and my children be? I wonder. Will my life be an example of courage and triumph? What will yours be? Will you wallow in your pain and stay a victim? or will you like many before us have the courage to conquer and not be defeated by our present circumstances?
As for me: through the grace of God I have discovered courage in the midst of my never-ending battles with physical illness along with a renewed sense of purpose and hope.
So I sing to myself… “What a wonderful world!”
Will you sing too with a new sense of purpose?

I love to hear your stories …would you share with me and others so we can all gain courage and strength by knowing we have been able to overcome thus far.

Many Blessings to all on this beautiful day.
Love,
Parkinsonsdiva

@copyright2018
All rights reserved by Maria de Leon